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Okay, so… it'll be over soon here…

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This topic contains 24 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  shepmom 3 hours, 11 minutes ago.

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  • #65000 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Just a quick update. (This might sound kinda emotional.)

    Jackie’s in court the last two full weeks of June, so by the end of the month, it’ll be over. Either we get our lives back and we start picking up pieces, or everything is destroyed past any fixing forever. Not exaggerating: aside from what it will do to Jackie, I can’t even remotely afford by myself to keep myself and three elderly cats, two with chronic health issues, in shelter and food and meds. (And how do I explain to them?) Plus, as much as she depends on me to do physical things she can’t, I depend on her to do the stuff my anxiety won’t let me do. So, I’m scared to death.

    I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. I find I’m coping by spending as much time as possible writing, just for myself in my private world, not to publish. If I’m in there, the real world feels less overwhelming. And reading it to Jackie helps her relax too.

    Jackie’s been in Toronto today for a final session with her lawyer (argh, more monies, but it was necessary and useful). We still need to hit some thrift shops and pray for some decent clothes she can wear in court, ’cause her weight’s gone up enough that not much fits her right. And we’re still trying to make sure everything’s prepared for her to spend two five-night stretches in Toronto. Found a cheap-ish decent place to stay (university dorm in off-season!). Some new manifestations of her back problems are causing new issues that are really not helping. But I think we’ve got that part under control. It’s the only part we have any say in.

    Anyway, I might end up just setting up a week of classiclols at a time for the later part of June, because I’m pretty sure I’m going to be having a very hard time functioning. Will try to keep you posted, but Jackie’s not supposed to talk about most of it even to me and whatever she does tell me I can’t really pass on… but I’ll do my best. I should probably do it over in the password-locked post where wandering passersby can’t see. (Any cheezpeep who asks can has password, of course.)

    I’m tired of being scared and tired and trying my best to be optimistic. I kinda just want it over. I just wish I knew it would be over the right way.

    Anyway, sorry. I’m rambling. Have I mentioned that I love you guys? And I will do everything I can to keep Cheezland here and working and stuff. Gotta go do posts for tomorrow. Thank you for putting up with me.

    #65020 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    XXXOOO silly Prysma, “putting up with” -wee all lubs yu back an sending most powerfull positive beems that I can to you and Jackie and kittehs. I think we are all so concerned and waiting for over too.
    xxxoooo

    #65021 Reply

    shepmom

    Beeeeeeeemz, prayers, and…other stuff. I am alerting all the prayer warriors I know, at church and at the monastery. We are holding you in light and love.

    #65022 Reply

    annipuss
    Moderator

    Have never stopped beeming in the background – now turned up to full power and hoping that sense prevails.

    #65035 Reply

    noodle

    Prysma mai deer frend, u an Jackie are such wonderful people. Awl love and strength and goodness flow from you and back to you from this amazing group in cheezland. Hi beems are on highest setting……. >>>>******====××++÷÷>>>>

    #65067 Reply

    shepmom

    Hey, dearest Prysma, just wanted to be sure you check your email prior to this final week before court. No need to reply.

    #65314 Reply

    annipuss
    Moderator

    Thinking of you both, beeming that all is resolved and it can all be put behind you. Hugs, coz Ai lubs u wiv a feerse.

    #65316 Reply

    noodle

    Extra strenf luv an light heddin ur way.

    #65317 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Fanks, peeps.

    We be a tad bit tired. We did massive thrift store shopping trip yesterday, and gotted Jackie a surprisingly nice pair of shoes, a bigger suitcase wif wheels in great shape, and a few pairs of pants that are all too bleeping long so I gotta go measure her and turn them up by hand, which I’m so-so okay at so fingers crossed I don’t mess it up. She already had a few dressy jackets and I found simple tops cheap elsewhere. Probably going to take pics of outfits and put them on google drive and ask for thoughts – lawyer says “Dress like you’re going to church” but, uh, that’s a bit outside the experiences of either of us. :roll: Two weeks of court, so basically aiming for 5 outfits and we’ll wash them on the weekend when she comes home because she’s going to be too sore and exhausted for quick laundromat runs during the week. We still gotta get her up to get her hair cut short and easy to look after quick alone.

    Soooo much to do, making sure she has everything she’ll need and doesn’t have to worry about, well, anything we can make sure she won’t have to worry about.

    We appreciate the loves an beems an evreething. Loves you wif a feerse!

    #65318 Reply

    Badger

    Well, I have no “church experience” either, but I did work for a conservation corporate office for many years. Best bet are solid fairly neutral color suits with maybe a pop of color contrast in the blouse. A small set of ear studs (only one set, multiple earrings freak out conservatives) and no jangly bright jewelry (necklaces or bracelets).
    Cover up any tattoos if you can. Keep the necklines fairly high, avoid a lot of ruffles and patterns.

    If you have patterned jackets, wear them with neutral pants and blouse to play it down.

    Avoid a lot of bright mixed patterns, you look too “counter culture”.

    Good luck

    #65319 Reply

    shepmom

    Anudder fing would be to find a scarf or two that have one or more colors of the tops and jackets, so that you could wear them with different outfits. Switching around neutral pieces with a bright (but like Badger says, no neon!) can make a few pieces look like a lot of outfits. Look up some different ways to tie a scarf too.

    I have a lot of church experience, and I would say for the conservative side of church (barring the women-shall-not-wear-pants extreme) I think you’re on exactly the right track. Many women wear neutral with one pop of color or bright. Building on what Badger said, I would say modest necklines, no really tight pants, no extreme anything. Rather than church, I usually say dress as if you were taking your conservative grandmother out for lunch with her friends.

    Equally important is that they are outfits Jackie is comfortable in. Having to always adjust or fuss with clothes gives a less than confidant impression, so I would suggest Jackie putting on each outfit and wearing it for an hour or two just to make sure she is comfortable in it. Walking in dressed simply and smartly, and being comfortable with her look will make a great impression.

    Holding you both in light, love, and prayers.

    #65320 Reply

    Jackie.Elle
    Keymaster

    solid fairly neutral color suits with maybe a pop of color contrast in the blouse. A small set of ear studs (only one set, multiple earrings freak out conservatives) and no jangly bright jewelry

    modest necklines, no really tight pants, no extreme anything

    Omg this is hurting me … I love bright pinks, brilliant purples, lots of black and lots of dangley earrings – including many of all colours lol

    This “normal” is NOT me *lol

    • This reply was modified 3 days, 4 hours ago by  Jackie.Elle.
    #65322 Reply

    shepmom

    Hi Jackie — black and purple is my go-to for church (great minds have the same taste LOL). I don’t think we’re saying avoid bright (at least I’m not), just temper it with neutrals. So maybe:

    Black pants, white top purple jacket – great!
    Black pants, long-sleeve purple top, pretty scarf — great for a hot day
    White pants, white top and a bright pink jacket – great!
    Khaki pants, white top, bright jacket and complimentary scarf – also good

    But:
    White pants, hot pink top, orange jacket — not so good
    Lime green pants, yellow top, blue jacket — not so good
    (Not that you would do these…!)

    Hope that helps. I truly think that what you wear and how confidently you wear it are equally important, so yes to staying with the colors you love, just maybe a conservative version of the overall effect.

    #65328 Reply

    Badger

    I’m with shepmom here, bright colors are OK, but in small quantities. My go to for years was black pants, black jacket and a bright color top. OR black pants, black top, bright jacket. My particular reason for so much black was I have to wear orthopedic shoes and my most comfortable are black leather. I had to travel a lot and tried to pack so I could use a carry on. To do that I had two neutral pants, two neutral jackets and about five tops that went with both. I also did the scarf thing, that can expand a couple of outfits into several just by changing up the colors with the scarf.

    I am totally with you that I love lots of jewelry and patterns patterns patterns but I figure I was dressing to represent the company, NOT my personality. When I retired I gleefully sold most of my work clothes through a consignment store and now wear what I want. Kept the scarves though :-)

    #65332 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Combining stuff we already had, just bought at multiple thrift stores, were given by a friend, and were given by a lovely agency that helps women mostly but not entirely with clothes for work, we came up with a week’s worth of looks. (Oh, and got Jackie a haircut.) Thoughts on how this looks? We can figure out the second week later! https://photos.app.goo.gl/WvDMczHJepsgqmucA There are descriptions on each, you can just drag upward on a device or hover over on a computer. We are, incidentally, very tired.

    #65333 Reply

    noodle

    Love the fashion show. I especially like the turquoise ensemble. :) I would be very hard pressed to come up with any suitable clothing.

    Still sending lots of love
    Noodle.

    #65334 Reply

    short1fry

    Hi Jackie and prysma. I just noticed this post (not very observant here). I wish the best for both of you. The short1fry household sends all the love and beems we can muster up. Hopefully soon you will be able to put this all behind you and continue on with your lives.
    Hugs, love and beems. xoxoxo
    ps. Loved the outfits you guys picked out.

    #65335 Reply

    shepmom

    Love ’em! Especially that black jacket with the blue/green trim.

    The only suggestion I would make is with the grey pinstripe — I know you like brights, but if you put a black shell top with the grey pinstripe, that is a power suit — always a good thing to have in your back pocket as an option. I like the way you’ve done the scarves too.

    Lookin’ good!

    #65337 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    Great outfits! You done good. I’m always thinking of you and will be relieved when it is over. xxxooo

    #65338 Reply

    Badger

    I agree that if you can scare up a black shell, you have the makings of week twos outfits with these nice scarves. Obviously would look good with the black/aqua, and the grey pinstripe. Also good with the white jacket alone, and in combination with the blue scarf. Maybe the brown and tan with the aqua scarf. Light grey slacks with the cream top if it will work with the grey pinstripe jacket. Or maybe with the white jacket. You made some great choices, the haircut looks fabulous. I know you are probably tired, but it was a very productive shopping trip.

    #65360 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Taxi just took her away to the train station. Hope we didn’t forget anything… as it is, getting everything packed into just one largish suitcase and a second bag was a nightmare. The clothes weren’t so bad, but assorted medical stuff took up a whole lot of space and we can’t exactly take that out. Think she’s going to look for a laundromat there so she doesn’t have to haul quite so much home and then away again. We can swap scarves and things to change looks without having to haul it all home. (Hotel, actually university residence, is same price for two solid weeks as for two 5-day periods so she can just leave things there.)

    The apartment is even more of a disaster than usual, after all the mad frenzied packing. (Oh, CC, don’t let us have forgotten anything…) (And thank you CC for that lovely big like-new suitcase on wheels that’s more than twice the size of the little ones she was using for overnight, and so few monies for it at the thrift shop…)

    But, she’s off, with, I hope, everything she needs, and five nice outfits that I’m hoping won’t wrinkle hopelessly before she gets there, outfits she likes and feels confident in and trusts friends will be acceptable. :-)

    Until Friday night, it’s just me and the purrkids here. Probably. There’s a possibility of a short week, in which case I imagine we’ll just pay the extra $45 and get her home Wednesday night instead. But we won’t know until then. She’ll still have to go back for the second week.

    The cats know something’s going on. They never like it when she’s away for a night or two and they’ll like this less. But… less than two weeks, and no more being away.

    Jackie and her lawyer chose against a jury trial, so just a judge, one the lawyer says is fair. Please send him beems for clarity that he can see quickly and confidently just how little truth there is in any of the claims.

    I, uh, may be a little messed up for the next couple of weeks.

    BTW, weird little thing: Bon Jovi’s ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ has been stalking us for the past couple of weeks. It keeps turning up repeatedly in random playlists, on the radio when in stores, an indie musician we both like on YouTube did a cover of it a few days ago… (Lyrics if curious.) Someone is trying to tell us something?

    #65361 Reply

    annipuss
    Moderator

    Beeming for everything to go well. The outfits look great and looking great is good for the self-confidence. Will keep the beems going so there are beems even before the American continent wakes up.

    #65374 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    If the rooms are like the ones TJP and I stayed in, it will be nice. If wrinkled maybe someone would lend one at the place. Pleeze bee nice judge!

    #65375 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    She just called – she’s in her room now. Accessible building, thank CC. Shared bathroom and kitchen with laundry in the building. She says it’s not quite as nice as the other residence she was in before but this one is a) cheaper and b) fully accessible, and it’s nice enough that she’ll be okay there.

    I sent her with something she could make quick in the microwave for supper and also something for breakfast, so she can worry about noms tomorrow afternoon instead of right off the train. She’s going to unpack and hang up clothes and then eat and probably fall over. Possibly, so will I, since I think I dozed off in the chair while I was finishing up doing the week’s Cheezland posts.

    Muchness of thanks for the beems! Will keep you posted!

    #65376 Reply

    shepmom

    I often find that the build-up to a difficult event is, on average, about as bad as the event itself. At least that part is over. We’ll be turning up the beemz several extra notches now, to get through the next part.

    If clothes are wrinkled, one thing that can help sometimes is to hang them on a hook inside the bathroom door while you take a steamy shower (or just run the shower) — it can help relax the fibers and get rid of wrinkles.

    Lili and I are beeming so hard for you both!

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