Nawty Kittehs

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    Nawt, lyk, Nawty Barn kittehs! Just badly behaved!

    I gots a nawty kitteh story, an I bet peeps has moar. (If you libs wif a kitteh, I preddy sure you gonna has elebenty, rly.)

    Otay, so…. Trick are, lyk, 13 yrs old, nawt a spring chikkin, an has a bit of arfritis in hips. Wif teh sooperdooper extreme cold, Jackie been feelin preddy sore, an we wurried bowt Trick. So I used old trick (heehee) an set up swing-arm reeding lamp wif 60-watt incandescent bulb innit to make a warm spot. That were, um, three nites ago. Overnight, it are pointed at my puter chair, which Trick lyks tu sleeps in at nite. Inna day, I swing it rouund to mai bed, so moar space plus I can has chair.

    Trick finded it preddy quick, an lyks it!

    Then Cory, whylol lyin in that spot onna bed just as I swapped it inna morning, started luukin puzzled coz his back half was getting warm. He figured it out wifakwikness. He lublublubs teh sunnybeems inna summerthyme.

    Yesserday, Freya catched on. I can has soooooo many adorable pics of her an Bear negotiating fur sharing teh bed under teh lamp, an even a few of ALL THREE!!!! (*gasp faint*) Dunno hao I gonna choose what to use here…

    Last nite, it turned… nawt ugly, but cranky.

    Cory-Bear and Freya were owning teh lamp spot at bedtyme, bein so cute that I was finkin of puttin mai pillow at uvver end and letting them be (is just loose top sheet an comforter, is eezy an I duz sumthymes), altho wif Trick on mai lap, I nawt had to decide rite away.

    Trick leefed fur litter box. Freya leefed fur noms, onna trunk beside my bed (yep, is crowded, mai bedroom…). I retreeved mai pillow an tried to get unner comforter… Cory got offended cos I was crowding him an HE leefed. Trick come back and get chair and lamp. YAY! I can sleeps, rite? (Yep, I can ignore lamp… yeers of practice.)


    Bout 5am, Freya wants unner blankets. Okeedokee, hard to sleep deep wif her unner there coz nawt wanna skwish her, but used to that. At this point, Bear on chair, no sine of Trick. Doze off, just shallow.

    Then I hear cranky noises and whappities from chair, and wake up wifakwikness.

    Trick trying to share chair. Cory havin nun uv it an whapping him. I reach over to innervene, as much as I can wif not disturbing teh sound-asleep Freya unner teh blankets, an finally get Bear to stop whapping. Trick settles daon on edge of chair, an I start to fink battlol over.

    Nope. Bear breaks truce and whaps again! Trick leefs. Nao, we be givin Trick crunchies frekwently coz they halping his tummy stay settled, but to keep Bear an Freya out, this meens 2 dishes of crunchies with lids, and we offer to him very often. He started lookin where crunchies get offered, so since mebbe feelin unhappy tummy, I stretch WAAAY over to get teh crunchie bowl.

    Freya gets offended that I disturbed her, and stalks off.

    Trick has crunchies an leefs teh room.

    Bear got mad at me coz I swinged teh lite away frum him fur being a selfish brat – nawt gonna get away wif keepin teh warms to himself after all that!

    Rite nao, wif lamp on bed, Bear an Freya sharin agen, Trick curled up in fave basket, everyone got bellyful uv noms.

    Aifinkso mai furry children am slitely spoiled, specially teh Bearkitten… pawsibly a lil…

    These lamps nawt so cheep as tehy used tu be, but mebbe I gonna has to track daon nuvver one! Or elebenty! Nawt sure I nawt gonna get pee in mai shoos if I turn it off soon as cold snap ends!

    Okay, sooo… you can has nawty kittehs? Rite? I nawt only wun?



    Well, ai habs a nawty doggie story….

    Wun tiem ai hads maded maiself a turkey sammitch and had laid it on mai desk so ai coulds eet while ai wuz werkwerkwerking. De phone ringed across de room, and ai wented to answer it. When ai gotted back, de top peeces ob bread were neatly laid to de side ob each half ob de sammitch, and de turkey hads been remoobed wif surgical precision….everyfing else were in perfect place.

    Sumwun had hims bestest innocent look on hims face…



    We call our Oliver SS the seat stealer. Mai wifey is on da couch, Ollie jumps up and pokes hiz head behind hur. She leens forward and he sneaks behind hur. So she mooves to da ovver end of da couch. She gits up and goze sumwear and Ollie moves to wear she was just sitting. I’ve had hims on my ottoman, go to kitchen or baffroom, come back and he’s on mai chair. So ai go to couch. See above about couch badness.



    oh boi! , ai juss saw did noo foerem butt ai godda ged readie fore teh pleh werk sew ai abstaine fore teh moment…….



    A short one:
    Foster-luvlee gray baby, I miss my Bubba. When I lived in town I kept the cat food under the sink. Because Pip & Duffy had figured out how to open the door I had put heavy rubber bands between the door knobs. I had the food in a rubbermaid tub. Sometimes when I got the food the lid would be off the tub. I would just think I did it and didn’t remember. I was sitting at the kitchen table one day and in comes Foster. He went over to the cabinet and pushed his head slowly into the rubber banded door, he looked funny with his face all squished back, then next thing I know he’s in the cupboard! I opened the door, he had pushed the lid off and was sitting in the tub, eating the food!



    Josie, my darling Josephine, she never was naughty. ok maybe a little but she was so cute at it all I ever did was take pictures.
    and this isn’t a naughty story anyways but an anecdote I guess.
    In the same kitchen opposite the sink featured in the last story was my great-grandma Caruso’s Hoosier. I fed Josie on the table top part of the Hoosier. I fed her there so Pip and Duffy (and then Foster) couldn’t eat her food. When she wouldn’t finish her food I would put her dish in the top drawer of the lower part of the Hoosier. Sometimes I’d open the drawer and the dish would be empty. Again, I figured I was just forgetful. Until one day sitting at the table I watched her open the cabinet door under the Hoosier and climb upon the shelf in there-the side of the drawer was not complete to the top and she was going in there and eating her food while it was in the closed drawer. Then she’d get out and the door would shut behind her and I’d be none the wiser.
    PS Foster watched her do that ONCE and then I couldn’t keep her food in there anymore.



    here’s fun. try transplanting the not-dead-yet house plants from a sympathy basket arrangement with not six furry assistants.



    I can imagine the fun with horticultural kittehs. One of my pastimes is fly fishing. I *used* to tie all my own flies. It got so bad I had to quit. If I locked myself in a room they would just scratch at the door until I relented. Can you imagine kittehs with fur, feathers and thread? Plus I worried about them around the small hooks.



    yep amazing how many activities either not done or done behind closed doors while the darlings sing you the song of their peoples.



    hmmm, sew teh resident rebel-JoJo-duzzint anewun want me tew male hymn tew yu? anyhoo-furst-hao dew ai keep hymn frum jumpink inn de frigididator evrie thyme it is opin?



    nawt sure kitteh nawty oar juss taeking avantaje.
    sew Friedegg eve ai gedding reddie tew fead teh kittehs awn dinink rum tablol-goggie pertekshin-sorda. ai notised Dixie an Timmy staring down hot ayr duck. nawt furst thyme. ai thot juss smellin cellar-kittehs. butt ai goe tew luk. imajin mai serpries tew find a callycoe kitteh lukung up at me…….rustid owt vent nawt thare!…ai hadda reech down an grabbify teh vent box thiingy an kinda putt in playse…an put grate bak awn vent.
    waht negst? ai’m afrayd toew gess.
    oh! anee wun noe if it is hard to ged a noo box fingy an attach tew furnace hoes?



    :lol: oh mai. ur advenchurs r meny. calico kittenz am da qute.



    ooooh kay…..teh gai opposed tew bee at mai howse at nawt six tew remoove teh feral kitteh festivatshin inn teh smellie celler. an teh vent gai coming inn a weak (ai has tew bee dere sew has tew bee nawt kwick).
    pawz krossded teh gai showz up tewnite!



    Uppydaet: well teh gai kame lass nite an luked at awl teh problims ai got wif teh ferals an hoels intew seller an junque filled seller an he’z gonna come bak awn nawt Mondai an attak teh problim inkluding will kleen seller. alsew he notysed teh callycoe-hur is nested in a pockit uf insullashin…..hur mai alreadie haev teh babies :(
    AN he fixified teh bad heet vent fingy!



    well teh gai waz a no show. no call. no text. no answer fone. carp.



    arrruuuggghhh. wai wont sumwun halp me? last gai sez he onlee duz wildlyfe wen ai noe he removed over twennie kitteh frum collidge nearbai????



    maibee ai fownd a gai! sez shoes kittehs owt, bored up spot an get smellz owt. bee still mai hart….



    Hooo-eeeee….verrie spensive….butt (!) waht kan ai dew?
    ai gess ai kuld send teh bill tew teh purrsin responstible.hahahahahhaaahhh
    yeah taht woodn’t bee a waist uf thyme.

    negst Thurdai an wen ai kawled insurinse companee-yeah-noe tahts nawt covured BUTT (!) teh womin ai tawlked tew volintears wif “Barn Kitteh Owtreech” a SNR groop. hur sed if yu feed dem too moer weaks ai get plan tew kapsher an newtralize an (ai think) releese sumwhare elsse.



    Fingurs crossed dat sumfin gud happins awl round ur hause. Hi beemz axtivated. >>>>>>*******%%%^%%~~~~~~》》》》》》☆☆☆▪▪♡♡



    oh deer. took Rosie an Timmy tew V-E-T fore shots (noe moer). Rosie ways 15.4 lbs an Timmy (slitelee older) ways 14.7 lbs. V-E-T suggjested nawt feeding tehm sew much….ooookkkaaayyyyy ai’ll ged rite awn TAHT. Rosie was a littlol anjel. Timmy nawt. He hissded an growloled at me an ebrywun. V-E-T a littlol skared uf geddin bited. Hur messed up teh rabies shot-sum dribbloled owt-sew he hadda have an eggstraw shot. pore guy ai woodin blaem him if’in he did bite. teh tek held him too tite for mai liking. And :oops: ai discovered taht he has another littlol toesie between his eggstraw toesie an his regular issue paw on his feets an it hazza klaw an evryfing. ai feel kinda stupit ai nevur notysed afore. She klipped teh eggstraw claws-she sed thay won’t ware down lyke teh udders sew godda keap an ai awn tehm.



    OH! an teh gai tew dew teh seller came yesturddai butt onlee luked at waht hadda bee dun an sez he’ll bee bak negst Wed. Ai waz sew eggsited abawt saiying gud bai tew teh stinkee butt (!) :D godda endoore wun moer weak 8O



    anutter extra tooesie. :shock: supor timmy iz awlreddy king ov da werld.



    ohhh mai fren Melinda juss tole me a funny ai godda shaer.
    Mai bosskat’s son bork his leg (thass nawt teh funnie). anyhoo he alsew is a goggie purrsin hoo juss hadda kitteh added tew hiz fambly an teh kitteh juss luvs him an sits awn hiz hed an stuff. well teh kitteh alsew luvs teh cheezie popscorms. sew bosskat’s son gets a bag uf popscorms an settlols awn teh cowtch an teh kitteh grabbded teh whole bag uf popscorms an ran intew teh seller ware teh bosskat’s son noe kan goe!!!
    Bwah ahahahahahhahahahah!



    Noe nawthy kitteh storie: bad goggie storie: Sew lass nawt turdsdai-Tess, teh Aussie (ai forgetted-waht dat playse kalled inn teh land uf cheese?) mix, kame inn wif a stinky-she had rollded inn sumfing awfull smellink-gack, choked, gack again. It waz laet an sew ai sprayed hur wif hoomin drie shampoos an bloked hur frum bedrums. waz goona bath hur Fried egg butt dint. sew nawt sunnydai affer a verie long cleaning uf kitteh howse at sanctiturary ai kame hoem sew tyred. led goggies owt, soon affer led goggies inn. that #@#$%$#@$$# Tess had did it again! AARRGGGHHHH!!!! I shutted hur inn teh baffruum an rested until ai felled a littlol bedder an stronger an ablol tew dew teh goggie baff. *noet tew selve-get plummer tew put a shower fingie wif a spray fingie awn it.* sew fore teh moment ai will akkompanny teh goggies wen dey goe owtsyde.
    Mai kownseller sez end wif a positive-ai have too uf dem-wun-teh feral ai naemed Rocko-ai was ablol tew runn mai hand down hiz (?) back today! nummer too an sew eggsiting. ai had nawt fore mortgidje paymints left an sew ai kalled tew sea if ai paid nao what wood paymint bee? Holy CC, it was only ~$30 moer than mai monthlie amawnt (had some eskrowe) evun wif teh $50.50 ai hadda pai teh cowntie tew dew teh chanje uf titlol. Oh Happie Day!



    Any dog people out there who have advice for me who is going to stroke out or have a MI over this? Recap: Wed Tess pulled her occasional stunt of rolling in stench-y stuff. I put dry hair shampoo on her and blocked her from the bedroom. Yesterday she did it again. I gave her a bath……
    I came home from Mom’s just now and sure enough she went and found diarrhea and had it rubbed all over her shoulder. Guess now she has to be tied out. Any suggestions?



    Agin. Yeeesh. Onlee advize iz two taek sum deep breffz inn a diffrint rume an den ai dont kno watt next.



    *waitin inn udder ruum fore furder inn strukshins*


    I did a bit of Google mining – there are several articles there about why dogs do t and some on how to stop them.



    Ah thanks anni, mai theerie is taht she’s nawt gedding enuf atenshin an is stressded. sew taht artikel kinda suggjests taht alsew. onlee juss me fore attenshin an ai am awai at leest 6 of 7 dais for manie ours. ai’m putting hur awn long tie owt fore potty time an gonna get owtsyde nao wedder is bedder (fore hoo nose hao long) an werk inn yard an keep a cloes ai awn hur wile she’s loose at teh saem thime. ai wish nao taht i hadn’t given teh fense awai cause I cood haev put hurr owt inn teh barn an pasteur.



    ai forgotted tew menshin: yesturdai morning found inn teh kitshin open cubberd dores, chooed up papur towlol roll an a hole stick uf budder awn flore an awl dirt an hairy-guk.
    alsew ai haev tew taep sum sort uf kover ovur teh onn/offer budden awn teh bye-paps masheen bekawse lass nite dey kept ternin it off….taht will innerrubpt a sownd sleap.
    (ai still lub tehm)



    Got nothing to offer on teh goggie issues except sympathies, I afraid. I can do kittythink but nawt goggiethink. But congarats on teh mortgage getting all paid off, and I keepin fingers crosst for things like gettin stuff sorted out with the ferals and all.

    My heart-kitty Loki were a multi-polydactyl, two extra thumbs each hand, and he had a nextra claw down in teh space between teh thumbs and teh rest. I clipped it periodically coz vet warned me it could grow around into his foot otherwise, but it were no big deal, rly, just had to gently press on claw so it came forward so I could reach it ravver than tryin to clip in a very narrow spot.

    I sorry I nawt replying much to stuffs (email included :oops: ). I do read it and do think about you lots n lots and I always sending you loves and giving Jackie updates. Just, eh, still less talkative, y’know? *sigh*



    oh ai unnerstann, yu got a heavie fing oar too keepin awn yur minde. ai noe taht nawt ritin nawt meen nawt thinkin. ai’m juss pluggin alawng dewing prittie gud akshewellie despyte nawth weerd goggies and wun krazie kitteh leedin teh hoard………………..HORDE…..godda watchify dat spellin stuff ;)



    Sew teh ferals-fore ar living inn teh garadje. Nite afore lass ai sitted owtsyde an black Rocko laid down neer me an teh stripey tigurr was laid down almoss as neer butt behynd teh weel uf teh kar…..ummm…den stripey goes tew wun uf teh raysed gardin beds an usis it fore a pottie… ai’m thinkin dat possablee taht kitteh usded tew usde an lidder boks….witch teh raysed gardin bed must luk tew hym. ai think too ar bois an too ar gurls wif tummies geddin rowndurrr. dis is nawt a gud fing. teh long-hayred tuxie akts feral wen at mai howse butt i’m 99.8% shore it lives wiff sumwun inn teh kreepie trayler park awn udder syde uf teh park entranse.



    dunnoe if ai menshined butt Jojo been verrie innerestid inn mai toofbrushin an had started grabbing teh brush an attemptin tew imatait mai akshins, teh udder dai he finally sukceeded inn gettin teh toofbrush inn his mouf afore ai stopped him…..dat is wun weerd kitteh!



    Nom nom minty freshness! Itz nawt quite catnip smell, but close, maybi? Nao yu can retire that toofbrush to use for brushing Jojo’s teef! Brush brush prrr mrow hiss bite cronch cronch… *Hides eyes but peeks owt between fingers to see how this episode resolves*



    A silly Trick-tail…

    2 fings you need to gnow:

    1) Trick lyks to drag shoolaces, earbuds, dressy scarfs, kitteh toys, an nao n then uvver things around, with a very specifik yell he duz

    2) Jackie duin teh gardnin fing onna balkonee, in buckets an pots

    Jackie been addin wurms, big fat earfwurms, to her soil so tehy aerate it an can eat ennyfing that dies.

    Well… cupple days ago, Trick came in offa balknee makin hims gotta-string yell. We hadda puzzled, coz, no strings on balknee, rite? Then he dropt it onna kitchin floor an lukked daon an his string was wriggling! He were fassinated bai it an ravver annoyed that we taked it away an put it back inna pot.

    Tuday Jackie did moar gardin stuff then came inside… an twice had to go back onna balknee coz she heard Trick yellin, an boff times, he had anuvver wurmie. Cannawt tell which pot tehy comed from, so she hadda guess, mebbe is nao pot wif no wurms.

    Iz ennywun’s guess hao he findin teh wurmies. :roll:



    :D :D :D



    Trick is a stitch!



    So the cellar guy has deodorized twice. i can’t tell any more what i smell but do smell weewee sometimes. so. changing the bedding i sniffed the pillow the dogs use to see if it smelled like dog but no. it smelled of cat wee. big yellow stain. UGH! so how do i ascertain who did that and ………WHY????



    furst uf awl-ai waz promised RAYN. an dere is noe rayn onlee teh hot hot. grumblol grumblol.

    okai nao that is offa mai cheast…
    JOJO: zzomcc that boi will bee teh deff uf me.
    Tewdai fore instince-mai guud nayber hoo walks crazie Sadie teh schnoodle-she is a saynt-wen ai am hoem hur comes inn an sits an wee catch up an gossip sum. sew evadentlee JoJo gotta bugg up his arse an he jumped upon teh side tablol negst tew me an pooshed off teh container uf fresh pineapplol an ai got sticky pants, sticky joose awn reklyner covur, an awn flore wif mai pineapplol awn flore. wile ai pikin that mess up he pooshed teh remote kontrole awn teh flore, den wile ai pikin that up he dumped teh trash pale aside mai chayr! Nayber gots bigg ais, dunnawt think hur bee wantin kitteh fore a pett any thyme soon!



    oh grate, to quote Foghorn Leghorn “ai sai well ai got mai wish” butt along wiff darkinin skyes teh power wend off an nao bak awn.



    sew teh gray an wite littlol feral gurl had hurr babies butt nawt inn mai garadje praize CC, anyhoo hurr comes tew eet, hurr gives miksed messijes-todai hurr was waytin an mewin wiff taylol strait inna ayr butt hurr mews ar alwais followed bai hisses, hurr juss afraydi kitteh.



    So the evening feeding-I first take a can of gushy out in the garage for the ferals. Open the door and there’s my buddy, Rocko,……..and there’s TIMMY relaxin’ on his side…..HOW did he get out???? He pushed out the screen in the bedroom window. OMCC! Anybody else escape? Nope. Thank CC. Whew…oh Timmy you bad.



    Timmy. Don skare mama like dat. Yeeesh.



    I just saw the cally-coe carry a large black kitten around the house and under the screened porch…..I can’t believe her’s are that big-is she stealing Missy’s babies???? Oh My CC.
    8O 8O 8O



    teh kitten waz sew big hur hadda keep droppin an restin.



    diss shood bee in kapitalls. teh kittehs an goggies keep luking down teh furnase vents…………..
    am ai paying fore sum terridible thing ai did inn anudder lyfe…oar this wun?????



    Uppydaet: Rocco’s bak-verrie skinnee!! an found mama and kittens owtsyde screened porch-she must have denm unner dere. Whewie…..



    Furst Happy Gotcha Day 2012 handsome Steve and my lost boy Seamus. *Sob,Sniff,Sob some more*
    Sekint Last week a work friend finally told me that when she took Casey to Rochester for a doctor’s appointment last year that he told her that he found Seamus in the road dead and he buried him. WTFBBQ????? Now why would he say that to her if not true? I really was a stupid woman for almost 25 years. I might hold the Guinness record.
    Thurd I finally found out who is doing the inappropriate peeing-ROSIE-I saw her today. I had a wooden dryer rack on the floor folded up so it looked like 2 squares and as I was going into the kitchen I saw her get in one of the squares and squat and PEE. Must be she wasn’t done because she went into my bedroom and I had a pair of shoes sort of lined up but about 10 inches apart and she finished peeing between them! I have always left the door to the boxes room closed so they go through a cat-sized opening but I wonder if she’s been ambushed there before. So I left the door open and we’ll see what happens next.



    I think the record is his, for utter lack of empathy and sheer malice. That’s appalling and unforgivable. I think it’s really common for people to refuse to see some things about peeps they’ve made a central part of their life, because it’s easier than rebuilding one’s entire life.

    With Rosie: usual inappropriate peeing causes: UTI causing pain that they then associate with a place so they keep trying to find a different location, or stress associated with the litter box, or other cats not allowing her to use it. Usual rule suggests one box per cat plus one, spread out to make territoriality harder, but then, I have 3 cats and two big storage-bin boxes side by side and it works because there’s no conflicts. Your horde do have some inter-kitty personality issues, and it could be that one or more of the others is crowding her or intimidating her. The UTI would be the simplest to ID and fix. :/ Good luck!

    But happy Gotcha Day!

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