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Nawt What Yu Eggspekt

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This topic contains 35 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  maryqos 10 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #52422 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    I’ve been putting off telling my cheezfriends something. Not using cheezspeak for this. Casey and I are not going to be together any more. It has been on my mind for a very long time…then he got cancer….but I just finally (after counseling and soul searching and stuff) broke the bad news to him 12/3. Life is short and I don’t have all that much left comparatively speaking so I finished out a horrible crappy year with this. He is making plans to move to where his children and grandchildren are. Since they have been pushing him to switch his treatment to Roswell Park Cancer center in Buffalo he will be closer to Buffalo & can do that. (Really-this has been crazy-he had a big deal biopsy on NOV 8 and he STILL has no results.) I hope it will not mean that we are forever strangers but however it ends up, that will be it. I asked him to be out of the house in 30 days and that he could wait until spring to deal with his hoard that is in sheds, barn, garage, etc. I’m hoping that he can find homes for the chickens but you know, everyone wants hens, and some only want big hens and he has a lot of banty blood mixed in there. So there it is.

    #52423 Reply

    annipuss
    Moderator

    Oh my dear friend, there is nothing I can say except that I am holding you in my thoughts. {{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}

    #52424 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    You has my loves (and Jackie’s) and we has your back any way we can… but you know that, Ihopeso. {{{{{{{mqos}}}}}}}

    #52426 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    Thangyew awl, it is a wunnerfull payse dis land uf cheez an teh peeps hoo resyde hear.

    #52451 Reply

    Shepmom

    I’m so sorry {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}. We are all here for you. Sometimes the best place is reached by going through very hard stuff. Wishing you grace, courage, and peace.

    #52452 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    Thanks {{{{{Shepmom}}}}}

    #52453 Reply

    OnleeKitteh

    maryqos: Hard decisions come at us from all directions. Sometimes we can handle them quickly. Other times it takes a lot of thinking, considering pros and cons, and other “stuff”. Most of those decisions aren’t easy. BUT – all things considered you do what you have to do for yourself, and other(s). Wishing you well in your “new normal”. {{{{{maryqos}}}}}

    #54122 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    Well, he left yesterday. He’s going to live with one of his daughters and she’s a nurse so really a better place for him at this point. This was hard. It is a mess here, he left a LOT of stuff.

    #54123 Reply

    Noodle

    Oh suite pea. Ai haz a sad an a glad fore u ax da same thyme. U am a wundrus purrson hoo did awl u cud due. Ur upsidez daun life wuz too much. Nao try to breath long deep breaths an taek gud kare ov urself. Da land ov cheeze lovez an admires u. Me an PJ an Jessica awd sends luv an moor luv to u an to mr c too. Whee am awlwayz hear four u. Awlways. {{{{{Maryqos}}}}

    #54124 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    thanx noodle! ai hazza anksyetea attak nao, ai hazza stomik possiblol bug.
    sew anksyetea from bug?
    oar bug frum andsyetea?

    ugh

    #54125 Reply

    Noodle

    Either way is da blaaargh. U did da rite fing. Yes u did. I has a proud fore u. Will b diffikult an weird fore a wile, butt member nao, wee iz family… u gots awl hour cheezpeeps an me.

    #54126 Reply

    Shepmom

    O Mai….Noodle said it so well — ai alsew habs bof a sad anda glad for yoo. Hard days ahed but lite at de end ob de tunnel.

    Wii am heer for yoo…yoo am an amazing strawng purrson, eben if it nawt feel liek dat rite nao.

    Wun footie in front ob de otter, mai frend.

    #54185 Reply

    noodle

    ohai maryqos. wundrin hao u b duin inn diz gnu life configurachun. sendin lots ov luv an gud thots two u an ur gang.

    #54215 Reply

    maryqos

    ohai noodle! ai tew bee troofull am ovurwhalmed rite nao. sew many thinkgs. butt sew far ai am chuggin alawng an consentrating awn mostest importantist furstist. ai bork teh frunt passinjer weel area uf mai pore kar an sew taht make fore sum runnin arawnt yesturddai. negst is gedding ferals owt uf seller. ai spottified a truk yurstudai uf a kompanie taht taeks awai howse smells if yu got howse smells sew maibe thay kan halp me wiff teh smell affer ferals owt uf seller.
    (ai feed dem in garaje-ai kant hapl it-anyhoo wun littlol awl blak kitteh is reelie funnie bekaws it (?) yells at me wen it wants teh fuds. butt no petting allowded).

    #54216 Reply

    Noodle

    Gud. Wun step ax a thyme. Otterwise u mite trip an fawl daun. Luv u sweetie pea.

    #54229 Reply

    annipuss
    Moderator

    Yep, wun step at a tiem – du wat u can an can wat u can’t!

    #55619 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    ugh. juss wanted tew sai that what ai predicted wood happin did happin today. he’s moved in right next door with the crazy neighbors that he used to fight with and who said he wood never be allowed to live with them because he stole from them.
    ai reelie don’t need this. such a fakir. “I would never move in next door because I couldn’t bear to see you.”
    i’m quite a paranoid and so I say love you all just in case….
    this will take my best “I’m cool” attitude butt I am not going to show any anger or fear. That will drive them all crazy as they are all drama addicts. (as well as druggies and their new roomie is on three different narcotics).
    OK back to the cheezefun.

    #55620 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Ugh. Cannot think of good innocent reason for him to do that – hao he gonna do medical appointments, they gonna drive him? He’da been smarter to stay with daughter, unless mebbe daughter had no patience fur crap.

    Plz to be making sure that all doors have good locks, that windows cannawt be opened from outside, and that you make sure everything stays locked. Donawt want you feeling like living under seige, but want you and your horde safe.

    Love you lots. Be strong. You can handle this.

    #55621 Reply

    Noodle

    Oh my. Dat iz a nitemare four u. Sew sorry u hav ywo get thru dis nao. Sendin luv an strength an moor huggs.

    #55622 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    Down at Mom’s. Checked window and i think i know why he told the neighbor he could get in any time he wanted-the window in his bedroom has settled so it can’t be locked and opens easily. I used a wooden cane to (hopefully) prevent it from being opened. I really don’t care if he wants to come get stuff, less for me to deal with, but I want someone there with me and I told him before he left that I needed to know and agree on a time. The good neighbor, Diane, was scared because he has her house key but I found it and gave it to her. I know I’m being ultra paranoid but Prysma-can I give your email to my friend so she can email you if anything happens?

    #55623 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Of course you can, although I’m not going to be able to do much from here. Taking precautions isn’t paranoid. Would it be worth looking at restraining orders? If he violates it, you have your concerns documented and recognized – and he’ll know that, and knowing that if he does anything he’ll be instantly the primary suspect might deter bad behaviour. At the risk of making you more scared, he’s not entirely rational, and law enforcement will recognize the risks involved in trying to separate yourself from bad stuff. Might be a fee involved but shouldn’t be too bad, they generally try to make that sort of thing accessible. Try to make sure it doesn’t just include your person, but also the house, if possible.

    Might be worth looking into what it would cost to get that one window replaced – or put a lock on the door of that room, so anyone getting into it can’t stroll into the rest of the house? At the very least, get a piece of thick dowelling or a 1×2 or 2×2 piece of wood to exactly the right length so you can wedge it into the window and make quite sure it doesn’t move. Breaking a window is a much bigger deal.

    And if you do the restraining order thing, as soon as you see him near the house… or if you tell Diane to do so and it includes the house, then if she sees him around there while you’re out… call the police. Immediately. Don’t talk to him, don’t hesitate, if you wait and have a chat with him then you’re giving him permission and that could invalidate the whole thing. Please seriously consider looking into this, to keep yourself and your horde (who are depending on you) safe. Ticking him off matters a lot less than that, and besides, if he doesn’t act badly, then it has zero impact on his life.

    I’m glad you found your friend’s key.

    Jackie and I are sending you mega-beems for safety and calm!

    #55624 Reply

    Noodle

    Oh mai. Dat am sew sad and bad. Yes.. restraining order an anything two stai safe. I luvs u… PJ luvs u… Jessica luvs u… an awl of da peepz inn cheezlandia luv u muchly. Iz gud u am shaing diz situation wiv us. {{{{Maryqos}}}}

    #55625 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    thanks for the advice, I will check into the restraining order first thing tomorrow. Yes, i have to get a better thing in the window. and the lock on the bedroom door is genius! Ugh, I told my counselor Thursday that I felt it wasn’t over….

    #55641 Reply

    Shepmom

    Even if you decide not to do the restraining order, you could ask to speak with someone at the police department and document your concerns. It can be important to get a timeline documented in case (CC forbid) things escalate. Can you set something up with Diane where you check in at specified times, with the idea that if you don’t check in, she calls the police?
    Telling your counselor was a great idea — a further confirmation that you have had and have expressed concerns.
    Seriously praying hard for you.

    #55642 Reply

    maryqos

    thanks everyone, I’m working on getting the house more secure with cameras. also let my nephew, Tim, (Timmy’s rescuer) who is state police about the new neighbor. Yeah and timeline now includes:
    Sunday: Come home from Mom’s-opened garage door and right inside garage door is a red teddy bear.

    #55643 Reply

    maryqos

    Do want you to know that my brother who has known Casey for more years than me is completely unconcerned about him and doesn’t think I’m in any danger.

    #55644 Reply

    Noodle

    Oh brother brother.

    #55645 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Cameras good. Keeping nephew posted is good. Maybe even worth setting up a daily check-in time or something, and if he can’t get you, he should come check? Teddy-bear is just creepy any way you interpret it.

    As for your brother… it’s not at all uncommon for men to completely underestimate or dismiss the danger women are in. (No, guys, not all men do this, some are wonderfully understanding and sympathetic, but it happens. A lot.) Your brother may have known Casey a long time, but it’s very unlikely that he has seen sides of him that you have.

    In other words, your brother is a less reliable judge than your own instincts. Nature gave you those for a reason. I know it can be hard to untangle them from anxiety, but look at it this way: anxiety has never bred out of the population, maybe because us jumpy high-strung anxious types have some survival advantages in some situations. Trust your instincts, do whatever you need to do, and keep doing it until you feel safe.

    #55646 Reply

    annipuss
    Moderator

    I don’t know what to say except that i am praying that you stay safe.

    #55647 Reply

    maryqos

    Good advice Prysma. Yeah, maybe he’s inn the Nile.

    OH-and bosscat came over to mai office about an hour ago and had me shut and lock the door cause guess who was coming in the front door. I’m guessing he had a talk with him because this situation is not new here (lots of women work in horse spittles)
    I’ve been thinking lately about selling and moving and maybe that is the way to go.
    It will be very hard to say another good by to all my babies that are buried here even though I know they are in the meadow.
    The original neighbor told me that the man who built the houses was mad because his daughter sold her house without telling him and he put a Danish curse on the place. Sometimes I’m sure that is the case.
    Now I’m going to go eat my fresh picked dandelion sandwich. Yum!

    #55648 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Oh crap. But I’m very glad your bosscat is that responsive and protective. You-know-who has no business bothering you at work.

    As for selling… might be worth looking into. I don’t generally buy stuff about curses (negative energies that linger, that’s another matter, experienced that too often to doubt it), but you’d probably be safer with more distance.

    I think your buried furbabies would probably want you to consider the safety of yourself and your currently-living horde as a higher priority than feelings about whatever’s left by now of bodies that they’ve long since abandoned.

    Enjoy your lunch!

    #55649 Reply

    Noodle

    Oh my.

    #55650 Reply

    maryqos

    I bought a white sage kit to do a smudge and was waiting till after Friday when the house will be cleaned to do it but maybe I better get going on that at least it will help some.

    #55758 Reply

    Shepmom

    Hao am fings?

    #56001 Reply

    maryqos

    ohai Shepmom, ai din’t sea yur kwestchin afore.
    Lyfe is a challenje an a joi at teh saem thyme-juss seams tew have become wun challenje affer anudder. Butt wether beuteful, kittehs awl helthie, ferals owt uf seller, car fixed, iris bloomin, bak at shelter wiff mai sekint kitteh fambly-mai hart waz sew happie teh furst dai bak-teh kittehs awl ran tew me an wer sew happie tew sea me, sew speshil.
    werking awn geddin howse inn order sew a reel a terr kan come an aprayse itt sew ai kan noe what playse werth.
    fownd a hawse verrie nyse alredie wif fensed bak yard inn Hornell butt thay havva law-onlee nawt six kitteh purr howse. ai prolly kould sneek inn nawt sevin oar nawt ate butt nawt foreteen? prolly nawt. an prolly okai if naybers nyse butt hoo wants tew taek that chanse?
    man frum parks depardmin opposed tew visit lass fried egg an walk teh proberty tew sea if thay wood bee innerestid inn geddin donashin butt ai have lyfethyme rites wif sum kondishins-lyke thay taek caer uf lawn an plowin driveway an woulds. he deseeded tew taek dai off instead-din’t tell me, seew ai fine lee cawled teh orifice an a laidee tole me. (prolly nawt gonna happin-ai heer it wood haveta goe threw Noo Jork Lejislatcher tew happin-cheeziz)
    teh ex cawled affer a cupple weaks-“Hi Hunee”……hi hunee???? wtfbbq????? tole hymn he koulnt get stuff owta howse till he got rid uf mess in bak, his flee market horde-ruint by wether, needs tew goe tew dump, nayber rite ovur-taht stuff nawt koming tew hurr howse….ai sed he haz frens wif truks, thay can taek tew dump, he kan stawp bying scratch offs fore a few dais an pai fore that.
    since kant stai ovurnyght wiff mai momcat onaccownta goggies ai spend nawt Mondais wiff hurr. Wee watch owt teh glass dore onto teh dek ware hurr burdies kome tew feaders, an teh blooburds wiff thare howses awn teh pasture fense an sumthymes a blak skwirrel comes down teh hill owt uf teh woulds down teh pasture an awntew teh poarch tew eet. Diffrint fambly memburrs stawp inn sew ai get tew visit wiff dem. always a jigsaw puzzle goeing awn tew werk awn.
    still werking an still liking, luukin foreward tew enn uf nawt August fore nawt fiftee furst hi skool reyewnyin beein held at Bill Pullman’s barn (kan yu bee leeve it?) :D
    as deer Kurt said “an sew it goze”

    #57860 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    Prolly tihs goze unner tihs plays.
    Wun thing ai got problim. He waz frens with an eldurlee kupple (womin waz mai nayber-hoo-past’s sister-taht’s hao he met) an somehao wen thay past he got teh ashis. teh man must haev bin similar tew him bekawse wen he contaktid teh man’s cheldren tew tell taht he past an ware send ashis-thay juss wantid tew noe if anee moneys an dunnawt want ashis. Sew thay joyned teh womin’s ashis (hur had noe chillren an wantid ashis tew goe wiff orijinal husbink inn Massatoosits)…………….inn mai KLOSIT!
    Hur haz neese an nefew-chillren uf mai late nayber-neese nawt finding awn innerwebs-her is s shadee karakter an prolly kneads tew stai offt teh radars. Nefhew is minester an ai trieing tew find. If ai dew, ai’m sending awl tehm ashis tew him-ai sai tew him in a ledder wiff teh ashis taht ai donut noe hoo is hoo. Teh End.

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