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JD'S WUNNERFUL FUNN STOREE "TEH CAT TAHT SAT AWN TEH MAT"

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This topic contains 18 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  maryqos 1 year, 5 months ago.

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  • #50758 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    [teeny quick prysma edit: rijinal is here.]

    The Cat That Sat On The Mat
    .
    Once upon a time, a long long time ago, last thursday, a kitteh of remarkable renoun (so remarkable that nobody knew what it was) was sitting on the mat. This was quite an ordinary mat for such an extraordinary kitteh, but the kitteh didn’t mind. Well, maybe he did, as the mat had been scratched into elebenty pieces by the time he got up.
    .
    This kitteh, whose name might have been “oooooh!”, “snorrrrrgllle!” or “splort!”, no-one was quite sure, was enjoying his afternoon nap. This took place every day between his noontime nap and his early evening nap. Suddenly, nothing much happened. This startled the kitteh so much that he rolled over.
    .
    “It’s the Damn Thing!”, he muttered to himself. (The Damn Thing is a mysterious thing that floats through the Universe. Only cats can see it, and they are honour-bound to chase it when they do.)
    .
    Lifting an eyelid part-way, he noticed the Damn Thing had landed on his nose. This was his chance to be one of the Greats of the Cat Universe! With a scraaaaw, he pounced and nailed himself in the nose with all pointee-ends. The Damn Thing, meanwhile, had floated off.
    .
    “Damn Thing!” he muttered, his nose very sore at this point. He sighed. Sleeping off the sore nose was going to cut into his nap time. He’d have to make up for it by racing up and down the stairs for no obvious reason fewer times than normal.
    .
    However, sleep was not to be, for now anyway. A squirlol had managed to open the catflap and was looking in. This was just too much for oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort!, or whatever his name was. He slammed the catflap shut with such fury, the squirlol was launched into the air. It eventually landed in a deserted bird’s nest that was filled to the brim with acorns. This was not the most comfortable of landings, but the squirlol was in no mood to complain. He’d lost his last hazelnut swirly fing at Lost Wages and was hungry.
    .
    “Serves that squirlol right!” thought oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort!, as he snuggled down to return to his afternoon nap and pain sleep-off.
    .
    oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! awoke a little while later, still sore, and plotting revenge against squirlols and The Damn Thing. He yawned, stretched, and walked up the wall. Not being fully awake, he hadn’t realized that this was supposed to be impossible. He found some juicy bugs on the ceiling to nom, and a place by the overhead light to curl up in.
    .
    *SPLOOSH*
    .
    Grabbity grabbed him, as he closed his eyes, and he fell off the ceiling. Fortunately, he did a four-point landing into the kitchen sink, which was full of water. This absorbed the impact nicely. The water was absorbed too. And if there was one thing oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! did not like, it was getting wet.
    .
    Mreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooow!
    .
    oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! lept from the sink, poyntee ends at the ready for anything in his way, and ran. He was getting close to the sound barrier when he hit the foam mattress barrier. This rapidly became the foam-over-floor what-barrier. But it did help him feel somewhat better. The frantic activity (and foam) had removed a fair bit of the water, and it was always a Good Thing to demolish bits of household furniture if they have not been set up as kitteh sleeping spots.
    .
    But there was still the matter of that Damn Thing. How to trap it? Nothing that oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! could think of could contain The Damn Thing for long enough for him to defeat it.
    .
    But then he had a thought. “The Damn Thing always floats away from kittehs. Der’s kittehs jus’ like me in awl teh mirrors in dis howse. Iffen I can get deir agreement, we can surrownd it on awl sides adn then it can’t escape!”
    .
    This would require some careful planning, especially as those other kittehs were always too dumb to answer when he asked them questions. They’d just mime what he was doing. “But iffen I’m stalking The Damn Thing, then by miming me, they’d be stalking it too!” Realizing he was on to a winner, he went back to sleep.
    .
    oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! uncurled himself on the pillow and seemed to pour himself down onto the floor. Resolidifying was going to take time, particularly as he needed to revert to a liquid state when he reached the mirrors. He was going to shape-change, a skill all cats have, which is why they can get into places that they physically can’t possibly be in.
    .
    To pass the time, he absorbed some catnip. There are those owners who believe cats need to eat catnip. No. Cats, in their liquid state, can roll over catnip and it is directly absorbed into their body. Much more efficient.
    .
    After some time of this, oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! went up into the hoomin’s room to gather the mirrors. This wasn’t easy, given the lack of poseable thumbs, but he did it anyway. A nudge here, a push there, and he had assembled five faces of the cube. He would herd The Damn Thing into the cube, and then stand guard at the entrance, stopping it escaping, as the other cats in the mirror pounced it.
    .
    This, of course, required finding The Damn Thing. So he searched high and low, not seeing it once. As he reached the last possible place it could be, the squirlol returned, knocking several glittery, sparkly balls onto the floor. oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! realized the importance of this immediately.
    .
    “Sparklyfings hab teh sikrit ob life, teh uniberse adn EBERYFING in dem! I mus’ catch dem! Dey will know where Teh Damn Thing is!”
    .
    So he ran down the stairs as fast as he could, knocked over two tables (one with a vase of flowers) and pounced on the glitterly, sparkly balls, sending one flying to the other side of the room and the other into the dog’s water dish.
    .
    The goggie was right next to the water bowl, asleep. With the ball hitting the water, a splash hit his face, which he ignored. As the kitteh ploughed through the water bowl, sending water everywhere, the goggie grumbled.
    .
    As the kitteh proceeded to run right over him, bopping him on the nose several times in the process, he opened an eye and growled. oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! didn’t even flinch. He just kept running, smashing into an ironing board. This came thumping down on the goggie, waking him up completely. The Ming dynasty vase that came crashing down then returned him to a state of complete unconciousness.
    .
    Still, the sparkly glitery ball was eluding the kitteh. Or would be, had the kitteh remembered he was chasing it. He was much distracted at this point by the smell of fish. Fresh fish. All kittehs are totally responsible at heart, and this one was no different. He knew the risk to human health of fish, if improperly kept. So, being the good and kindly cat that he was, he lept into the kitchen to inspect the food and safeguard his humans. No-one around. He jumped up onto one of the counters. Still no-one. The smell was getting stronger, though. It didn’t take much searching for him to find the sushi his humans had brought home.
    .
    Not wanting his humans to be too upset at the risks he was taking upon himself for their sake, he grabbed a salmon roll in his mouth and sprinted out of the kitchen, down the hall, and back to his mat, where he nommed the salmon roll in peace. “Ah!” he thought. “But that only proves that piece was safe! What if the rest are dangerous?”
    .
    So he slithered down the hall to see if he could evaluate the health and safety of the rest of the sushi. However, the door by this time was firmly shut. Never in the history of kitteh-kind has a kitteh been so insulted as to have a door CLOSED! Especially when there is food on the other side!
    .
    Scratching at the door and howling like the place was on fire produced no results. “Hmmm,” he thought. “The goggie is bigger and may be able to break the door down. Unfortunately, I think I may have knocked him out, which might upset him. Don’t know why, goggies are like that.” He therefore opted for plan C, which involved breaking out of the house and bringing back dead lizards until the humans got the message. This plan also had its problems. The catflap the squirlol had used earlier was just right for oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! when he was younger, but he was now just a little too fluffy to get through easily.
    .
    Of course, the solution to that was more exercise, and oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort!’s favourite exercise was the Snore. So he went back to his mat, curled up and went back to sleep, intending to wake up when he was thin enough to get out the door easily.
    The hoomins had other plans for oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort!, though. Unbeknown to him, it was his birfday today, and he was in for a bit of a surprise.
    .
    Whilst he slumbered, the hoomins dimmed the lights, fitted him with nose-plugs so he wouldn’t scent anything suspicious, and carried him still sleeping into the living room.
    .
    He was lowered onto the top of some amazing cat furniture, almost 8′ high with lots of hidey-holes, catwalks, perches and ladders. At the bottom of the cat furniture was a catnip cake, sushi and roast chicken. But oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! could smell none of this. Yet. The noseplugs were attached to some string, so they could be removed from a distance, and the lights were turned out.
    .
    Suddenly the hoomins shouted “Surprise!” and yanked the noseplugs out. oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort! lept five feet into the air, his ears brushing against the ceiling which he now realized was a lot closer than it had been. His eyes wide open, he looked round and was momentarily startled to find he was not on his mat as he had expected.
    .
    The lights switched back on and his vision swam. He wished the hoomins would make up their mind, but was rather glad that the lights were on. Hoomins had terrible night-vision, which is why they had to be looked after by kittehs. Otherwise, they’d lose their way in the dark.
    .
    oooooh!snorrrrrrrgllle!splort!’s nose prickled with the bombardment of smells. Smells that were coming from…. He glanced down. ARGH! He nearly bounced off the ceiling again. He was levitating! Oh, no, that was a platform of some kind he was on. It was fluffier than the mat, but that would soon be dealt with. Nothing was permitted to compete with him on fluffiness.
    .
    He looked for how to get down. Considering that the interrupted nap had failed to reduce his weight significantly, he took the steps only two at a time. On reaching the ground, he noticed the hoomins had paid homage to his superiorness and offered him gifts to appease him. Maybe the lights and shouting were some part of the ritual they had misunderstood on their guide to kitteh worship.
    .
    Nonetheless, fish, rice, chikkin and catnip were worthy gifts and he would forgive them their lack of understanding. But which to choose first? This was a problem. He thought long and hard before deciding on the only logical course of action. He knocked the bowls over onto the floor, thoroughly mixing the foods together. Now choice was unnecessary and illogical.
    .
    Of course, it would mean delaying the trip outside, as he would need to sleep all the extra calories off, but maybe if he slept on the top shelf of this ladder thing, it would work faster. Clouds were fast when high up, slow when lower, and stationary when on the ground. From this, kitteh wisdom decreed, it was obvious that things worked faster at altitude.
    .
    After nomming through his gigantimous meal, he clambered back up to the top, only to discover that his Special Mat was there now as well. Excellent! The hoomins were learning faster than he had thought! The Cat That Sat on the Mat sat down, lay down, then went to sleep.

    #50759 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    Ai tuuk teh libbertee uf mai bestist talint: pud an caste. (ai hoep okai)

    #50762 Reply

    Shepmom

    Clappity, Clappity, Clappity!!! Eggcellent!

    #50763 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    LOL You beetid me to it! (Is what I get for goin to bed an gettin distracted! :lol: ) Still gonna put linkee inna sidebar. :-)

    #50765 Reply

    OnleeKitteh

    Grate tayle, JD. Aifinkso dat my Riley iz much like dis sumtimes. Altho dere’s no goggie in dis house. All kittehs shuld haz dis majikal mat.

    #50772 Reply

    jd

    In the first para, I mayd a thypo. “Scratched”, nawt “scrathed”.

    In the meenthyne, I am trying to figure owt a sequel. Help needed.

    Sumewhere, I alsew hab the songs written in Cheezstock, the attempt to save ICHC from ijuts, iffen folks be interested.

    #50773 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    Ohnoes, a typo, in lolspeek! *goes tu fiks it ennywai*

    Is safe to say answer to “if folks be innerested” is “yes!” I sujjest posting tehm in this thred or startin a new forum topic. (Click on “Fun Stuff” or “Srs Stuff” in either the “Forum Categories” sidebar box or on teh “Teh Forums” page and scroll to bottom.)

    #50775 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    PS, I reeded this to Jackie, and her lubbed it too!

    #50776 Reply

    short1fry

    Lubbed teh storee! Bin habeeng ay pleh fyoo daiz nd tihs relee maed me lafflafflaff. :)

    #50779 Reply

    Tucatsu

    This explanifies so, so muchness! Now at last I unnerstands what kittehs see up in the corner of the ceiling. Thankz cheezpeeps for expanding my knowledge of the universe.

    #50805 Reply

    jd

    Heer iz a compleet moobie mayd ob teh ebent. It iz sorted by purrformer, nawt by when the song was sung. Duets and trios between cheezpeeps aer noted. Awl songs aer sep rated by a —-, as aer purrformers.

    (By rae, Mantari, nativeca66)

    Awn top uv cow MOWNtin
    Awl cubbered wiv goetz. . .

    We awl wished dat rae-cat
    Cud sing teh rite noetz…

    Spaghetti’s gawt nuffin
    At which tew sneez
    But, frum Cow Mowtin
    Iz ware yew git cheez

    ——

    (AngelPlume’s Complete Set)

    *Angelina kitteh wawks into teh CheezStork grownds*
    *Sheez followd bai hur skruffy-aminlol band*
    *Dey sets up der instermints awn a syde stayj*
    *Angie steps up tu teh mikkyfoan*

    Ohai der, cheezfrenz, wun adn awl.
    Me adn mai band ar gonna be rokkin u awl day heer.
    Lets see iffn we can rownd up sum supports, otay?
    *she luuks bakk at hur band memberz* Reddy, gyez?
    Anna wun-tuu-free-foar…

    Got a hurtin insyde (feel mai payn)
    Its a cheezy kynd (feel mai payn)
    Ai feel hawt-n-koald (feel mai payn)
    Cuz, owr funz bin stoald, yeh (feel mai payn)

    Ai sed… (feel mai payn)
    Its hurtin bad nao, yeh, so (feel mai payn)

    Dizzy in teh hedd adn ai’m feelin bloo
    Deez fingz dey post, well, whut duz dey du?
    Dey innerupts owr lolz agen adn agen
    Ai kno whut it meenz but…

    Feel mai payn
    Foar hao it wuz
    Wen we try tu stay troo
    We awl feel bloo

    Duz u feel mai payn? (feel mai payn)
    Yeh, heer whut ai sayin, Ben (feel mai payn)

    Dizzy in teh hedd frum alla deez fingz
    Awl dis obber junks ar pullin owr stringz
    Duz we hastu sez it agen adn agen
    Ai know whut it meenz but…

    Feel mai payn
    Foar hao it wuz
    Wen we try tu stay troo
    We awl feel bloo

    Ai try tu esplayn (feel mai payn)
    Ai’ll sez it wun moar tyme nao (feel mai payn)

    [myooziklol innerlood]

    We kno hooz tu blaym, yeh
    Ur messin wiff owr braynz
    Yeh, we awl feel teh paynz, nao
    Adn we kno hooz tu blaym!

    ——

    Finish wiff deez GIFs adn fingz
    Dey ar nawt wurf a singlol dyme
    Peeplz fink ai’m insayn becawz
    Ai is lolling awl teh tyme

    Awl day lawng ai luuk foar lolz
    Cuz nuffing elss will satisfy
    Aifink ai’ll looz mai mynd if ai doan
    Fynd teh lolz dat satisfy

    Can you help me… rektify dis syte? Oh yeh…

    Ai need sumwun to show me
    Teh lolz on heer dat ai cant fynd
    Ai cant see teh fingz dat mayk troo funniness
    Ai must be blynd

    Mayk a meme adn ai will sigh
    Adn trollz will laff adn ai will cry
    Happiness dey cannot feel
    Adn lubs tu dem is so unreel

    Adn so as u heer deez wurds
    Telling you nao ob mai stayt
    Ai tell u to enjoy lolz

    ——

    Its foar oklokk heer in cheezland
    Adn a video cums shufflin in
    Der ar reel lolz sittin negst tu it
    Gettin lost in awl ob teh din

    We sez wut is dis do-in heer ennyway
    Dis izznt kwyte wayr it shud goez
    Yeff we wants tu has nuffin but capshuning
    Cuz awl ob dis obber stuff blowz

    La-la-diddy-da….la-la-diddy-

    dada-dum
    Mayk us a lol, ur teh capshuner
    Mayk us a lol tunyte
    Cuz weer awl in teh mood foar hilarity
    Adn u got us feelin alryte

    Nao Winny ob Wonkaz a frend ob myne
    She mayks lotsa lolz fulla glee
    Shez kwik wiffa joak thattul mayk u kwyte choak
    Lyke whut cheezland yoozd tu be

    Ai sez “Ben ai beleeb dis is killin us
    Teh way awl teh lolz seem tu sukk
    Weed lyke tu has nuffin but capshuning
    Wiff kittehz adn mebbe a dukk”

    La-la-diddy-da….la-la-diddy-dada-dum

    Nao GIFs ar reely bad itemz heer
    Adn doan ebber add tu my lyfe
    Adn komiks are hazy, adn sumtymz reel crazy
    Adn offin rezult in sum stryfe

    Teh commenterz hastu be dillijent
    As teh content is hastily thrown
    Cuz weer shayring dis syte wif teh obber stuffs
    Dat simply cant mayk it aloan

    Mayk us a lol, ur teh capshuner
    Mayk us a lol tunyte
    Cuz weer awl in teh mood foar hilarity
    Adn u got us feelin alryte

    Its a pritty gud crowd for dis consert-day
    Adn teh cheezpeeps awl has a smyol
    Cuz dey kno derz sum peeps dat deyz wantin tu see
    Tu forget abowt trollz for a whyol

    Teh lolz ar awl jumpin lyke carniblolz
    Adn ebrywunz drinkin a beer
    Adn dey singz awl teh songz adn dey kno dey belong
    Adn sez “whuts awl dis krap duin heer?”

    La-la-diddy-da….la-la-diddy-dada-dum

    Mayk us a lol, ur teh capshuner
    Mayk us a lol tunyte
    Cuz weer awl in teh mood foar hilarity
    Adn u got us feelin alryte

    ——

    Spent mai dayz on teh cheezland lolz
    Laffd sum laffs adn bayrd owr soalz
    Mayd up mai mynd tu du mai full part
    Goin bakk tu cheezland wiff a lyteness in mai hart
    Sumwun toal meh derz sum peeps owt der
    Wiff lubs in der iyez adn kittehz in der hayrz
    Took mai chansez awn teh innertoobz
    Nebber let dem tellz u dat der awl teh saym
    Teh noms wuz gud adn teh drinks wuz free
    Wunderd hao dis lubliness cud eber eber be
    Teh vidyoz adn teh GIFs startid tu tremblol adn shayk
    Wiff teh capshunaytid lolz in der wayk

    Den awl teh raff ob teh trollz
    Lyke a punch in teh noaz
    Adn mai confidenss froaz
    Aifinks ai myte be sinking
    Frow me a lyne if ai reech it in tyme
    Ai’ll meet u up der wher teh lolz
    Run strayt adn troo

    Tu fynd a lol among awl teh krap
    Dey sez it hazza capshun ryte awn tap
    Wayd fru the myre wiff mai steeltoe hipboots
    Tryin tu fynd teh funnyz dats nebber, nebber, nebber unkoof
    Cant dey mayk sum lolz lyke ai see in mai dreemz
    Tellin maiself its nawt as hard, hard, hard as it seemz…

    ——

    Menny tymez we tryd tu tell dem
    Menny tymez we spoak owr mynd
    If dey tryz tu hard tu sell dem
    We will awl get left behynd

    Doan wanna leev heer, reely
    Eben tho its nawt so bryte
    Tu leev heer myte be eezy
    Wiff teh stuffs dat complikayts dis syte

    [korus]:
    We can lol fru teh day
    We can lol juss wiff capshunz
    We can lol tu teh sownd ob teh wurds
    Wiffowt moovin akshunz
    Whutebber we deny or embrayse
    For wurss or for better
    Weeee can lol, we can lol
    We can lol furebber

    Mebbe so teh tymez ar chaynjin
    Mebbe trollz must mayk a mess
    Mebbe peeplz juss doan kno
    Whut tu du wiff lubs adn caringness
    Has we bekum owtdaytid
    Duz we distort teh fakts
    Derz nawt much luukin forwurd
    Adn derz no turnin bakk
    So we sez…

    [repeet korus]

    Kloaz ur iyez adn juss invizhun
    Kloaz ur iyez adn see owr dreem
    Kleer teh trollz owt ob ur mynd
    Adn try tu see whut cud has been
    Awl ob deez lubbing cheezpeeps
    Has joy adn reely cayrz
    U heer der voyse insyde u
    U see der commints ebrywayr
    So we sez…

    [repeet korus tu fayd]

    ——

    Owt heer awn teh lolz
    Weez klymin teh wawlz
    Tu get a deesint pun-run goein

    We doan wanna fyte
    To proov whuts ryte
    We doan need deez vids ur showin
    No-no-no-ooo-ooo-ooo

    We sigh
    Den roal owr iyez
    Its nao a teenayj waystland

    Memecats crowd teh spayse
    Wayr we wunss interfaysed
    Frow owt teh trash
    Adn get us bakk tu capshunz

    Teh exodus is on
    So menny frenz ar gon
    Lets get togebber
    Adn fokus owr objekshunz

    Cheezlandz waysted, oh yeh!
    Its nao a teenayj waystland
    Cheezlandz waysted, oh yeh!
    Its nao a teenayj waystland
    Der awl trollin!

    ——

    Ai saw him wurkin der awn anubber cat-meme
    Ai knoo hims musta bin abowt sebenteen
    Teh pikshorz awl teh saym
    Teh capshunz reely laym
    Adn ai cud tell it wudnt bring faym
    Cuz it wuz fayl, yeh fayl
    Adn ai cud tell it wudnt bring faym
    Cuz it wuz fayl, yeh fayl

    Ai sed…
    Ai want capshund lolz!
    So put away ur GIFs adn ur vidyoz, bebbeh
    Ai want capshund lolz!
    So put away ur memez adn lol wiff meh!

    Mrrrowwww!!!

    He smyold, sed hao… hao bowt a cartoon?
    Dats nawt funneh, ai sed, cuz it endz wiff doom!

    Dat juss bringz teh trollz, teh bottum ob teh pollz

    So lets be moobin awn
    Ar ya wiff me, yeh me
    Lets be moobin awn
    Ar ya wiff me, yeh me, singin…

    [repeet]
    Ai want capshund lolz!
    So put away ur GIFs adn ur vidyoz, bebbeh
    Ai want capshund lolz!
    So put away ur memez adn lol wiff meh!

    Mrrrowwww!!!

    ——

    (MuchCat’s complete set)

    Amagine dere’s no Cheezland,
    Don’t wanna eben try,
    Iz only gifs adn memes,
    Enuf tu maek u crie.
    Amagine awl de Cheezpeeps, gowing awl awae…

    Amagine there’s no kyootness,
    And nuffing funneh, too,
    Nuffing tu splort oar laff at,
    Awl de joeks is bloo,
    Amagine all the Cheezpeeps, lukking foar a hoem…

    Yew mae say dat’s a nitemayer,
    butt ai seize it happining,
    Ai hoap de Cheezis wl heer us,
    And the lols will lib agin.

    ——

    Amagine dere’s no Cheezland,
    Don’t wanna eben try,
    Iz only gifs adn memes,
    Enuf tu maek u crie.
    Amagine awl de Cheezpeeps, gowing awl awae…

    Amagine there’s no kyootness,
    And nuffing funneh, too,
    Nuffing tu splort oar laff at,
    Awl de joeks is bloo,
    Amagine all the Cheezpeeps, lukking foar a hoem…

    Yew mae say dat’s a nitemayer,
    butt ai seize it happining,
    Ai hoap de Cheezis wl heer us,
    And the lols will lib agin.

    ——

    Wii doan niids noe moder ayshun
    Wii doan niids yer komment kawntrol
    It inner ups owr fun adn playin
    Adn it nebber stawps de trollz
    O Hey! WP! Leab owr freds alown!

    ——

    (LungDoc’s complete set)

    In mai hip-boots, wadin thru teh mukk
    All mai hunting, seemed it had no luck
    But tehn we fownd it,
    Wehn teh dross had neerly drownd it…
    We found a funny capshuned LOL this time!

    Oh, oh, oh, oh,
    Fownd a LOL this time…
    Oh, oh, oh,
    Fownd a LoL this time…

    Videos had gone out of control;
    Some feared GIFs had sapped teh Lolcatz’ soul;
    So much to choke on…
    But then Tipsy got her joke on,
    Adn made a funny capshuned LOL, in time!

    Crummy trends had lasted so long
    It seemed Lolcat-home
    was Doing It Wrong;
    but with boots to stomp thru the trash
    at least we’ll rehash
    Classics With Fav’rit Buttonz…

    Who knows how much longer we can cling
    To teh mem’ry of this good old thing;
    Maybe our luck’ll
    Stay alive for one more chuckle
    Until we make a front-page LOL–in rhyme?

    Oh, oh, oh, oh,
    Write a LOL sublime!
    Oh, oh, oh, oh,
    Make a pun taht’s prime!
    Oh, oh, oh, oh,
    In teh nick ov time!
    Oh, oh, oh, oh,
    Orange duzn’t rhyme…

    ——

    Who nose hao long we’ve loved LOLs?
    Yu nose we love tehm still;
    Will we read between teh adverts?
    If tehy want us to, we will.

    ‘Cause if teh billz is nawt paid
    Teh bandwidth goez awai;
    Tehn we could nawt make teh funnehs
    And would has no place to plai.

    So we put up wif silleh bannerz
    Adn wif some stuff taht bores;
    Maybe we even klikk teh ads for
    Stuff we’d nawt buy in stores…

    Adn when at last a real LOL
    Can make it thru teh net,
    We admire adn comment on it,
    Maybe even write a sonnet,
    ‘Cause if all teh LOLs were gone it
    Would foul up owr day, yu bet!

    ——

    (The Stork’s complete set)

    In teh desserts of Sudan
    Adn the sushi of Japan
    From Milan
    To Yucatan,
    Ev’ry kitteh’s favrit flan

    Get me tuna nomming, quick! Get me, get me
    Je t’adore, ich liebe dich, get me, get me, get me
    Get me tuna nomming, quick
    Get me salmon oil to lick
    Get me, get me, get me

    In teh noms of Borneo
    Adn teh fishfarms of Bordeux
    Sammon roe,
    Chikkin toe,
    Plate of nomstuff
    For me to go

    Get me tuna nomming, quick! Get me, get me
    Das ist gut, c’est fantastique, get me, get me, get me
    Get me tuna nomming, quick
    Who says cats are lunatic?
    Get me, get me, get me

    ——

    We can lol if we want to
    We can leave the GIFs behind
    For the GIFs don’t splort
    And if they don’t splort
    Then they’re not lol-refined

    I say, we can nom all the sushi
    From the bar just down the road
    And we can caption
    Kittens from out of this world
    Leave the memes and dupes behind
    And we can lol

    We can lol if we want to
    We can leave the GIFs behind
    For the GIFs don’t splort
    And if they don’t splort
    Then they’re not lol-refined

    I say, we can nom all the sushi
    From the bar just down the road
    And we can caption
    Kittens from out of this world
    Leave the memes and dupes behind
    And we can lol

    We can grow daft, real silly
    Our brains on chonklit and catnip
    And we can fly bunway to the beach by the bay
    Until the head cheezes get a grip
    Say, parody if you want to
    If we don’t, nobody will
    And you can write lol filk and tie it up in silk
    And cheezpeeps can get a total thrill

    I say, we can lol, we can lol
    Dress a cat up like a doll
    We can lol, we can lol
    We’re bouncing from wall to wall
    We can lol, we can lol
    The lolrus’s name’s Johannes
    We can lol, we can lol
    The party continues over in France

    ——

    LOL well with a view to you, cheezpeep readers,
    LOL well with a view to you, readers of cheez;
    For there’s too many pictures for us to enjoy now
    But we hope the Head Cheezes with see sense again.

    We will laugh and we’ll party like true kitteh lubbers,
    We’ll laugh and we’ll party all on the bookshelf.
    Until the next update in the channel of cheezburgers;
    From one post to next is hours but three.

    ——

    I rote a letter
    To teh hed cheez peep
    What’s going on?
    This lol was due about 3!
    Sent teh saym letter
    To teh goggie show
    But teh poodle chood it
    Adn an ankle to bits!

    We awl want it!
    LOLs well spaced!
    We awl needs it!
    Just right paced!

    LOLs aer sage
    Don’t cram teh page!
    Nom your speakers!
    The Cheez Stork roll!
    Nom your speakers!
    The Cheez Stork roll!

    ——

    (bluesfan473’s complete set)

    Where have all the good Lols gone?
    Long time passing
    Where have all the good Lols gone?
    They’re crowded out now.
    Where have all the good Lols gone?
    Replaced by Vids and memes one by one.
    When will they ever learn?
    When will they ever learn?

    Where have many cheezfriends gone?
    Long time passing
    Where have so many cheezfriends gone?
    That posted not long ago.
    Where have many cheezfriends gone?
    They got discouraged one by one.
    When will they ever learn?
    When will they ever learn?

    ——

    Everybody’s talking ‘bout
    Memes, videos, uncaptioned pictures
    This-isn’t, that-isn’t
    Isn’t, isn’t, isn’t (a Lol)

    All we are saying: please give us real Lols
    All we are saying: please give us real Lols

    Let me tell you now:
    Everybody’s talking ‘bout
    Overload, home page clutter
    Willy-nilly postings *shudder*
    Don’t memes have their own page?
    Can’t get a thread going.

    All we are saying: please give us real Lols
    All we are saying: please give us real Lols

    Everybody’s talkin’ bout
    Cheezfriends discouraged
    Lost feeling of community
    Giving up on posting
    And byebye, byebyes

    All we are saying is GIFs are not Lols
    All we are saying is Memes are not Lols
    All we are saying is please give us real Lols

    ——

    (‘Niser)

    Der’s sumfing happenin heer
    Wut it iz, wel it’s krystal kleer
    Der’s a man wiffa mic ober der
    A guitarr an dat sebenteez hare
    Aifink iz thyme wee stop, hay, wut’s dat sownd?
    CheezStork Elebentee’s goin daon!

    Der’s battlol lynez bein drawn
    R cheezpeeps rite? R stoopy cheez gawdz rong?
    Old cheezers speekin der mynds
    Gettin soe mush reezistance frum beehynd
    Iz thyme wee stop, hay, wut’s dat sownd?
    CheezStork Elebentee’s goin daon!

    *’Niser roks owt wiffa short butt (!) soleful guitarr innerlood*

    Wutta feeld-day foar teh trolls
    A thowsand daylee l-o-l’s
    Poastin fings noe bunny wantz tu see
    Moastlee say, “Boo cheezland, yay foar mee!”
    Aifink iz thyme wee stop, hay, wut’s dat sownd?
    CheezStork Elebentee’s goin daon!

    *Anuzzer soleful guitarr innerlood*

    Nyan kitteh strykes deep
    Intu yoar lyfe him will kreep
    Silleh gifs, an stoopee meme cats tu
    Peeps bee sayin “Dis carp’s a bunsh ob poo!”
    An wee bedder stop, hay, wut’s dat sownd?
    CheezStork Elebentee’s goin
    Wee bedder stop! Hay, wuts dat sownd?
    CheezStork Elebentee’s goin
    Wee bedder stop! Cheezpeeps, wuts dat sownd?
    CheezStork Elebentee’s goin
    Wee bedder stop! Cheezpeeps, wuts dat sownd?
    CheezStork Elebentee’s goin daon!

    *’Niser playz teh guitarr riff az teh myoozik faydez tu nuffingness*

    ——

    (Catladeeee)

    O when da kittehs!
    Com dans dans in!
    O when da kittehs
    com dans dans in!

    Hoe ai wun to see jus real LOLs!
    When da kittehs com dans dans in!!!

    ——

    [sunovawot and damommza team up and perform a mix of solos and duets]

    (sunovawot)

    chorus:-
    if we aynt heer 4 lolz
    wot we doin heer
    if we carnt L.O.L.
    ai’m goin 4 a beer

    we aynt heer 4 vidyoes
    GIFz doent meen a fing
    giv uz owr old siet bak
    or lissen tu uz sing

    chorus

    wer wood we see anni
    teh fastest of uz awl
    if nott 4 owr lolcats
    wood shee be heer at awl

    chorus

    PB, AP adn MC
    adn mennymenny uvverz
    ar ownlee heer becaws
    weer awl lolcat luvverz

    chorus

    ICHC lissen
    weer tri-in tu be playn
    keep tu teh capshunz
    or yoo wont see uz agayn

    chorus

    cum on awl yoo peeplz
    mayk teh welkin ring
    tiem tu spred owr messij
    so let me heer yoo sing

    chorus tu fayd

    (sunovawot and damommza)

    i wanderd 4 a lieftiem
    til ai fownd tihs playse
    doent noe hao ai’d mannij
    if we didnt haz tihs spayse

    itz givven me a lieflien
    4 wen ai’m feelin bloo
    ai’l wayst a happee howr
    playin along wif yoo

    tihs plase iz warm adn kmofy
    ai’m alwayz welcum heer
    lyke kummin hoem fur fwendship
    it bryngs me sush gud cheer!

    adn wehn ai haz a saded
    or may bee feelin bloo
    jus luk frew tis heer ‘puter
    ai’ll b wavin strate at yoo!

    (damommza)

    “Less LOL’s kummin akroz teh oshun…
    leevin jus a meh more eeeee
    kolleckshuns dwindlin in teh album
    troll whut’d yoo leeve behynd 4 me?
    HEY, TROLL, whut’d yoo leeve behynd 4 me??
    Awl it wuz iz juz annuver SPLORT on teh LOL
    Awl ai wantz iz juz moer SPLORT on teh LOL!
    We downt want no pink chew laces
    We downt need no LOL kontrol
    No dark sad hue mer in teh cheezland
    Trolls, leeve tehm LOLs alone
    HEY, TROLLS, leeve tehm LOLs alone
    Awl in awl iz jus anuvver SPLORT on teh LOL
    Awl yoo iz, iz just anuvver SPLORT on teh LOL

    Ai downt needz no trolls arownd me
    N ai downt needz no memes to hownd me.
    Ai haz seen teh SPLORTING on teh LOL.
    Dunt tihnk ai needz anyfhin @ awl.
    No! Dunt tihnk ai needz anyfin @ awl.
    Awl n awl iz just SPLORTS on teh LOL.
    Awl n awl yoo we’er awl jus SPLORTS on teh LOL!”

    damommza frows baloonies tu teh krowd, waves teh floofy paws adn de parts teh stayj.

    ——

    (blizzyyyy’s complete set)

    we wantz teh lol’s nawt teh otter stuff!!
    we wantz teh lol’s nawt teh vidy ohs!!
    we wantz teh lol’s nawt teh memes an gifs!!
    we wantz teh lol’s nawt teh otter stuff!!

    ——

    Oh We iz nawt Gunna Take It
    no, We nawt Gunna Take It
    oh We iz nawt Gunna Take iffn iz nawt a lol

    we haz teh Right Tew Choose adn
    dere Ain’t Nawt Way We lose It
    dis Is Our cheezland, dis Is Our lol’s
    we’ll Fight against teh vidy ohs memes adn gifs
    donut Pick Owr Destiny ’cause
    you Donut Know Us, we nawt want dose

    Oh We iz nawt Gunna Take It
    no, We nawt Gunna Take It
    oh We iz nawt Gunna Take iffn iz nawt a lol

    oh Yer So nawt undersandin
    your post aer nawt amuzing
    we Donut Want butt lols, Nawt A vidy oh From Yoo
    your paeg iz full ov trolls
    meen an suffocatin
    iffn datz Yer Best, Yer Best Won’t Do

    *runzawaywiffanembarazzed*

    ——

    (Shepmom)

    There’s a gif starting to upload
    Stressing out my vision, and it’s slowing down my scroll
    Finally I can see the whole darn list
    Way too many videos and things I’d like to miss
    See how I’ll leave ‘cuz I just don’t have the time
    For all these silly things that have no reason and no rhyme

    The memories of the captions remind me of us
    They keep me thinking that we almost had a LOL
    The captions that we loved, they left me laughing
    I can’t help feeling
    We could have had a LOL
    Rolling in the nip
    (We’re moving to the Cryer, rolling in the nip)
    You had our hearts for all the kittehs
    (and the itty bitty committees)
    But you put up too much junk
    (We’re moving to the Cryer, rolling in the nip)

    There’s no story to be told
    Just some moments caught in time
    And some fun and clever captions
    of the simple written kind
    Make our home on ICHC
    Video and gif free!

    The memories of the captions remind me of us
    They keep me thinking that we almost had a LOL
    The captions that we loved, they left me laughing
    I can’t help feeling
    We could have had a LOL
    Rolling in the nip
    (We’re moving to the Cryer, rolling in the nip)
    You had our hearts for all the kittehs
    (and the itty bitty committees)
    But you put up too much junk
    (We’re moving to the Cryer, rolling in the nip)

    We could have had a LOL
    Rolling in the nip
    You had our hearts for all the kittehs
    But you took away our fun

    (Wishing for no videos)
    We could have had a LOL
    (Kittehs never fall, rolling in the nip)
    We could have had a LOL
    (Wishing for no videos)
    A LOL, a LOL, a LOL
    (Kittehs never fall, rolling in the nip)

    We could have had a LOL
    (We’re wishing for no videos)
    Rolling in the nip
    (Kittehs never fall, rolling in the nip)
    You had our hearts for all the kittehs
    (Wishing for no videos)

    But you put up
    You put up
    You put up
    You put up too much junk.

    ——

    (sneezeecat)

    One lol an hour
    is too much
    One lol an hour
    One lol an ow-er
    Too much for our quipping power

    We love our dear Cheezburger site
    Sometimes we stay up and chatter all night
    In the past we had parties and bacchanals
    Now there’s videos, gifs, and lols
    There’s no time for community
    We feel we’ve lost opportunity

    One lol an hour
    is too much
    One lol an hour
    One lol an ow-er
    Community cannot flower

    An den it goez, um, la-la-la-lissen, er, la-la-less stuffs-la-la-la-BYOOTY UV SIMPLICITEEEE, um, la . . . Dat’s awl.
    *hurreez frum stayj an hidez in wingz*

    *sneezee curtseez leff an rite*

    ——

    (gunnersmama)

    Wen mom an dad, dey leeb teh howse,
    An Ai’m bord wiff mai toi mowse,
    Intu teh den Ai’m sneekeen
    Ontu teh tank Ai pownse!

    Dis am teh donneen ub teh Aij ub Ackwariumz,
    Aij ub Ackwariumz,
    Ackwariuuuuummmmz
    Ackwariumz.

    A hammer bii whut Ai am kneadin’,
    Mai poyntee endz won’t brake teh glass!
    If Ai hab fums, dis wood bii ober,
    Den Ai’d bii en kitteh clowber!
    Lissen hoominz, deez am nawt petz!
    I nebber seez fish at teh dam vet’z!

    Ackwariumz!
    Ackwariumz!
    Ackwariuuuummmmz,
    Ackwariumz..

    Wen teh hoominz am in dreemland,
    Frum mai kitteh bed Ai sneek,
    An awl nite Aisle sit dere prayin,
    Fur teh tank tu spring a leek!

    Dis am teh Aij ub Ackwariums,
    Aij ub Ackwariums.
    Ackwariums,
    Ackwaaaaariumz….

    Let teh fish owt,
    Let teh fisheez owt,
    Teh fisheez owt..
    Let teh fish owt,
    Let teh fisheez owt…..

    *dansiz awf stayj leff, frowing nip-fetteez at teh crowd an shaykin hur nawt-insubstanshul booteh*

    ——

    (Real_Ale)

    Ai’v bin a wyld LOLer fur menny a yeer
    Adn Ai spintawl mai munny
    Bein intarnett Beer
    Adn nao Ai’z ree turned
    Wif LOLs inna droor
    Nebber tew seez teh viddeegiffys no moar!

    Adn iz NO, NEIGH, NEBBER!
    No neigh nebber no moar
    Will Ai watch teh memecomix
    No nebber no moar

    Ai went tew teh cheezeland
    Ai yoost tew free kwent
    Adn Ai tolled awl deh Cheezes
    Me munnys Ai’z pent
    Ai arskd dem fur moar LOLs
    Dey anserred me neigh
    Fur a custum lyke yers
    Ai cud haz ennyday

    Adn iz NO, NEIGH, NEBBER!
    No neigh nebber no moar
    Will Ai watch teh memecomix
    No nebber no moar

    #50806 Reply

    jd

    Shepmom followed up wiv:

    Amazing LOLs
    How sweet the site
    That let us laugh and play,
    Now videos and gifs abound
    And we have gone away.

    Through many kitteh schmoos and pics
    We have already roamed,
    We’ve laughed and punned
    throughout the years
    And built ourselves a home.

    Though we’ve scrolled through
    ten thousand LOLs
    We want ten thousand more,
    Community is what it’s all about.
    Not vids and gifs that bore.

    #50807 Reply

    jd

    Muchcatmuchcat alsew followed wib:

    Mai layte blooming, let me sho you it. Dis sawng kaem onna radee yo yestidday adn ai hadda faecpalm momint. Ob coarse dis bees a perfik sawng fur dis muvement!!

    Wiffa pologize tu de grate Bob Seger anna Silver Bullet Band, ai prezzents dis alterred bersion ob de rokk adn rowl klassic “Old Time Rock & Roll”. *kleers froat*

    Juss taek dose old capshuns off the shelf
    I’ll sit and reed’em awl bai maiself
    Todae’s offrin’s ain ‘t got the saem sowl
    I lyke dose old tyme l-o-ls
    Don’t sho me memes and stoopy gif shows
    Dey nebber splort mai braynes awl obber floor
    In ten sekkunds ai’ll be laet for the door
    I lyke dose old tyme l-o-ls

    Still like dose old tyme l-o-ls
    De punz and kyootness jus sooves mai soul
    Adn dose rood capshuns hazaz gawt to go
    Jus gimme old tyme l-o-ls
    Ai dusn’t com heer foar da bid-yo
    Ai wawnts tu seeing awl mai frenz adn plae
    Dere’s onlee wun shur wae to get me to stae
    Stawrt sho-ing old tyme l-o-ls
    Cawl me a relik, cawl me what you will
    Sae ai’m old-fashund, sae ai’m ober the hill
    Ai’d radder being oald dan bee a yung troll
    I lyke dose old tyme l-o-ls

    Still lyke dose old tyme l-o-ls
    De punz and kyootness jus sooves mai soul
    Ai reminiss about the daes of owld
    Wiff dose old tyme l-o-ls

    #50808 Reply

    jd

    Adn dis wun was one on my earlier protest songs:

    One o’clock, two o’clock, three o’clock, LOL!
    Four o’clock, five o’clock, six o’clock, LOL!
    Seven o’clock, eight o’clock, nine o’clock, LOL!
    Wanna LOL around the clock tonight!

    Not too many, not too few,
    Just the right number of lols to view

    Gonna LOL right round the clock tonight
    Need three hours for comment delight
    I wanna LOL around the clock tonight

    Drop the excess, drop the dull,
    We want the LOLs that we can mull

    Gonna LOL right round the clock tonight
    Need three hours for comment delight
    I wanna LOL around the clock tonight

    You’ve elebenty sites, maybe more
    Why bombard us to a snore?

    Gonna LOL right round the clock tonight
    Need three hours for comment delight
    I wanna LOL around the clock tonight

    Cats cause mayhem, splorts and fun
    Page overload just makes me want to run

    Gonna LOL right round the clock tonight
    Need three hours for comment delight
    I wanna LOL around the clock tonight

    #50809 Reply

    jd

    Hopefully der songbuk for cheezland will inclood deze.

    #50810 Reply

    jd

    Fownd a foo more:

    LOL Control by Tessm

    Teh Tessm Symfony Orkestra starts up on Stayge Nom, wib Tessm on vokals:

    We don’t want no repetishun
    We need better LOL control
    Don’t click “recaption” on dat pitchur
    Cheaters leeve dem LOLs alone
    Hay! Cheeters! leeve dem LOLs alone!
    All you get is just another unfunny LOL.
    All you’ve made is just another unfunny LOL.

    We don’t want no repetishun
    We need better LOL control
    Don’t click “recaption” on dat pitchur
    Cheaters leeve dem LOLs alone
    Hay! Cheeters! leeve dem LOLs alone!
    All you get is just another unfunny LOL.
    All you’ve made is just another unfunny LOL.

    oh noes, dis pitchur again!
    oh noes, dis pitchur again!
    if you just copy LOLS, it won’t be very funny.
    How can it be funny if you just copy LOLs?

    noo piktur days by neenerbeener

    Carley Feline walks on stage and acknowledges the excited meows from the audience. She carefully tunes her acoustic guitar while the bakcup singing hampsters adjust their mics. Then s the lights dim, she gives a big, toothy smile and bangs out the initial chords of her famous song, to the delight of her fans, and begins to sing…

    ‘WE-ee shud never recognize the LOL we see
    as a picture that we saw yesterday- –
    There are kittehs whose pikturs are uploading nao,
    waiting to shine on the el oh el front page!

    Anticipation–this duplication, it makes irate
    when they’re replicay-ay-ay-ay-aytin!

    & Those pikturs the Cheez Gods showcased late last night–
    They were funee, and something we admired!
    But it’s morning! It’s tyme for something new and fresh!
    Adn awl ob the old piks need to be retired!

    Anticipation–this duplication, it makes me irate
    when they’re replicay-ay-ay-ay-aytin

    Adn tomorrow there’s going to be anudder LOL–
    Make it diffrunt and not like anee before
    cuz our hoomins are taking squeeful pikturs nao
    so every day there always will be more!

    (these are noo piktur days!
    these are noo pictur days!
    these are noo pictur days!
    these ah-ahRRRR noo pictur days!!1!)

    The Bevverly Cheezbillies by gunnersmama

    Gunnersmama approaches teh stayj wiffa HYOOJ cayse ub stayj-frite. Haz awn hur speshul Cheezland-ebentz labbender jumpsoot wiff teh frinjes an shineys awl ober it. Stepzup tu teh mic. TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP…*ahem*

    With apologies to the writers of “The Beverly Hillbillies Theme”…

    Come listen to my story ’bout a man named Ben,
    Started with a blog and investors way back when.
    And then one day, when his website is a hit,
    He started adding more until the titles barely fit..
    On a page that is.
    Hundreds of ‘em…

    Well the next thing ya know, ole Ben’s a millionaire,
    He created something fun that we could join and share.
    We all came to play and joke and make amazing friends,
    But soon enough the money talked and Facebook brought the end.
    Beta junk…
    Poor moderating.

    Now that ICHC seems to be on it’s last breath,
    We all know something good has simply been “improved to death”.
    The Cheezez made us promises about repeated lols,
    But it seems they’ve been diverted to the bigger, better goals.
    Revenue…
    Adding more sites…

    More ads….

    (Banjo interlude)

    Y’all come back now, y’hear?
    (Extremely unlikey we’ll see the likes of Phillip d’Beaker, rhsb, JanetCanHas4Kittehs, or even our beloved LCB much anymore…reminds me of that old song, “Abraham, Martin and John”…
    I just looked around and they’re gone….)

    pikcherz by sunovawot

    tehre awlwaez wil be pikcherz
    in coe pee us amowntz
    weer heer tu see teh funnee
    teh lol iz awl taht cowntz
    butt pleez we need sum nyoo wunz
    adn nott ree sy culd carp
    teh imajjus shood roe tayt
    tu keep teh hyoomer shrap
    we gott imajinayshunz
    butt tehy need tu be fed
    keep givvin uz teh saym meel
    owr witz wil soon be ded
    so keep teh pikcherz chaynjin
    tehn we can haz owr fun
    wif lolcat wit adn wisdum
    adn teh occay shunal pun run

    LOLShop by jd

    Negst on LOLAid, jd gets on stayge:

    If yuze see faded sine by teh side ob te rode
    dat sez 15 miles to Cheezland! Cheezland,yeah!
    I’m heddin down JH4K Blvd, lookin’ for the kitteh lols!
    Lookin for teh kitteh lols, kitteh lols!

    I wanna see capshuns as funny az cheez adn we’re heddin on down to Cheezland!
    Butt itz full ob all dupes, I cownt about 20
    So come on adn post noo funnies!
    Lolcats waz wunce a lil’ old place where we cud laff togebber!
    Cheezland, kitteh!

    LOLShop, it’s a LOLshop!
    LOLShop, it’s a LOLshop!

    Teh LOLerjack Sawng by jd

    *gets up onto teh Yeti Stayge*

    Oh, I’m a LOLlerjack adn I’m ok,
    I splort all night adn I lol all day!

    (Oh, he’s a LOLlerjack adn he’s ok,
    he splorts all night adn he lols all day!)

    I nom teh puns, I reed teh fuud,
    I paynt teh brake ruum green!
    On caturdays I go posting
    Adn hab sammun for my tee

    (He noms teh puns, he reeds teh fuud,
    he paynts teh brake ruum green!
    On caturdays he goes posting
    Adn has sammun for his tea!

    Oh, he’s a LOLlerjack adn he’s ok,
    he splorts all night adn he lols all day!)

    I run teh puns, I skip teh dupes,
    I lyke to rite capshuns!
    I hates dat head cheezes
    Act goggie stoopy!
    (He runs teh puns, he skips teh dupes,
    he lykes to rite capshuns!
    He hates dat head cheezes
    Act goggie stoopy!

    Oh, he’s a LOLlerjack adn he’s ok,
    he splorts all night adn he lols all day!)

    View Tu A LOL by jd

    *gets uppon stayg wib Duran Meow*

    *hebby drum beet ob an owld 00-meow song*

    We.
    Want teh lols…
    Dat aer awlwais different.

    We.
    Want things fresh….
    Just like catnip adn cayk!
    Martoonies!
    A lolsite all can enjoy!
    A squeak is why…

    Dansdansdans into teh brake ruum!
    Dat massib splort is awl we need!
    Dans into teh brake ruun!
    To snorgle cats adn nom chonklit!
    Dans into teh brake ruum!
    Dat massib splort is awl we need!
    Dans into teh brake ruum!

    The choys for yu iz to not dupe teh lols
    Between teh shaydes ob spycat laughter!

    Each.
    Little meow…
    Shud awl be diffrent.

    We.
    Want unique….
    Lols wibowt clones ebry day!
    Guaranteed!
    A lolsite we can enjoy!
    A squeak is awl…

    Dansdansdans into teh brake ruum!
    Dat massib splort is awl we need!
    Dans into teh brake ruun!
    To snorgle cats adn nom chonklit!
    Dans into teh brake ruum!
    Dat massib splort is awl we need!
    Dans into teh brake ruum!

    LOL by jd

    *gets up on stayge affer recubbering slitely*

    LOL iffen yu want tu
    LOL arownd teh whirled
    LOL iffen yu want tu
    Just don’t post dupes
    of LOLs we’ve seen!

    Ceilingcat! Hovercat! There’s more out there than they’re posting.
    Just follo teh dusty adn forgotten rode into cheezland!
    Gowing hed to hed wib teh cheezpeeps’ rockin’ teh capshuns!
    Arownd Mount Fuji teh trip begins wib Ebil Maus’ liter!

    LOL iffen yu want tu
    LOL arownd teh whirled
    LOL iffen yu want tu
    Just don’t post dupes
    of LOLs we’ve seen!

    Der’s elebenty noo pikshures ebery moment
    Yeah, take a moment to voo dem awl
    Gowing hed to hed wib teh cheezpeeps’ rockin’ teh capshuns!
    Arownd Mount Fuji teh trip begins wib Ebil Maus’ liter!

    LOL iffen yu want tu
    LOL arownd teh whirled
    LOL iffen yu want tu
    Just don’t post dupes
    of LOLs we’ve seen!

    #50832 Reply

    prysma
    Keymaster

    So many talented Cheezpeeps… and such an amazing snapshot of the past. Thanks for saving these, jd. So much history got lost when they broke all the permalinks.

    #51401 Reply

    JackDeth 72

    Ohai, ebbeewunz:

    “It wuzza Dawrk Andz
    Stoarmee Nyte Az Tawm “Rattzwen
    Frattzen Kitteh!” Klawz

    Slithurred Unndurr t3h
    Haff Oapunn Payne Ubz Windo
    Glass And Greeted T3h

    Surpryseengly Coaald And
    Starrless, Velvettee Blackness
    Dat Maydz Himz Breff Steem

    As Himz Leepdz Daown Andz
    Dawrttedz Ackrawss The Moarbidd
    Landskayp In Surch Ubz

    Deelisshuss Treetz lyke
    “Halloween Cheezbrgrz” Andz
    “Nom Nom Bawkz Peetza”! :D

    Jack.

    #51422 Reply

    maryqos
    Moderator

    wee ar verrie luckie tew haev such cleaver cheezpeeps dat shaer dere creeashins wif us. ai wood naem awl teh naems butt ai wood miss sumbunnie as shure as sh…..oot.
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{cleaver peeps an awl}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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