Sooo… after an email to bluesfan to check on her, this is the reply that came in. Gonna just post it verbatim below. All things considered, prysma an jackie.elle decided for sordid and sundry reasons (with BF’s purrmission) to set up this page. If you donut want to follow RL stuffs, then just donut read comments on this page. Uvverwise, let teh hugs and beems commence!
Note: erlier announcement about her mom’s health here: https://cheezland.org/2016/02/bed-cat-is-under-ur-throw-2/#comment-198483
I have been mostly lurking on the site….things are not good and I’ve been struggling and fighting the black dog for a long time now. I haven’t wanted to vent and whine continuously on site and spoil everyone’s fun so I just pop in to see the lols now and then.
Mom is not doing well. Initially we had at least a tiny bit of hope that she might be able to come home but she has lost so much ground since the initial stroke that it will not be possible. Mom needs continuous care that my sister and I could not possibly supply, even if either of us was anywhere near being able to retire or could afford to quit our jobs to care for her. She has been admitted to long term care at the facility where she was having transitional care and she DOES NOT WANT TO BE THERE!! We don’t want her to have to be there either but see no other viable option. It is a question of her health and safety. Still, the guilt at being the bitch who slammed her mother into a nursing home against her will is overwhelming at times. On her good days she admits that she understands our decision but still….
Compounding the stress is the fact that we should apparently be the poster family for how you should not proceed when you have an elderly parent who refuses to discuss finances and what not. In the past when I have tried to talk about stuff like that mom would get upset and say things like “I’m not incompetent!” and “I don’t need help!”. And I let it go.
Currently Mom’s care is being paid by Medicare but that will only last until she reaches a plateau, when they decide that the therapy has helped her improve as much as is possible. I don’t know how much longer that will be. At that point she will have to become a private pay patient, until her assets are spent down. Then we will have to apply for Medicaid for her care.
The paperwork and documentation we need for that is seriously complicated and compounding the problems is the fact that we can’t find anything we need. I had no idea that mom’s papers and documents were in such a mess because she didn’t want to talk about it. There are piles and piles and piles of papers everywhere and none of it in any logical order. I can find tax returns from 40 years ago but not her social security card. I can find insurance policies from before I was born but not the deed to her mobile home. And so on and so on. Everywhere I turn to try to get information I seem to hit a brick wall. The mobile home is considered an asset and will have to be sold if possible but since mom has lived there more than 30 years the amount of clutter and just plain stuff is unbelievable. It will take forever to try to clear it out.
I feel overwhelmed and lost and like I’m drowning sometimes. I have always had to be the ‘responsible’ daughter and I am the one who holds mom’s DPA for health and finances so basically it is up to me. My sister is helping as much as she can but between everything going on with mom and still having to get myself to work every day I am exhausted. I just want to ball up in a corner with a blanket over my head and have everything magically go away.
So anyway that’s the situation we find ourselves in. I apologize for unloading on you. You can post this (or the gist of it anyway) on site if you like, it’s pretty depressing though. As I said I do pop in to lurk from time to time and hope to have time to come back and play someday.